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The Illusion of Having a Life on Social Media

It was all fun, when I joined Facebook back in 2007. I was about to graduate from University, so it was a very fascinating tool, to have all your friends in one network. There we could post our party photos, exchange information all sorts of events, and talk to eachother. It was a great place to meet other people as well, and learn (or noise around) the life of others. 

I’m surprised about how popular this way of socialization became after just few years of its introduction. Before, we just had the mobile phones, the emails, the letters, the land lines… and the most retro way… personal contact. If you were a guy in the 1980s and wanted a girl to be your girlfriend, you had to have the guts to go directly to her and tell  her in the face. But not anymore after the year 2020, where you are not even allowed to have social contact. You are not even allowed to show your face in public (i.e. facemasks?) so how could you meet a girl?

No worries, that´s what social media and all dating apps are there for. You have the chance to post the best possible picture about yourself; and construct an attractive persona with the fotos you upload and the catchy language you use. Is this real? As real as you want to believe it is. The advantage of social media is that you have an opportunity to build a completely remasterized persona. Are you a bit overweight? Photoshop is the answer. You don´t have any relevant academic degree? No problem, make yourself an influencer or pretend to be an opinionated intellectual in Twitter. You live in an ugly house or apartment? Fear not, you can use Instagram templates to embellish even the ugliest of places with flashy lights and neon colors. You have no friends? Nothing to worry about. Just pay for them! Facebook, Instagram and Twitter have specific services to make your page traffic increase.

You can change everything, to build your online persona. In fact, I know friends who do it. I bet you have those kind of friends too. Those who post their idyllic holidays; their endless social events; their last new outfit; the latest visit to the gym; the green thai chai latte from Starbucks that they just drank… their lives look perfect. And look at yours: You have overweight, have no money to go on holidays, no new outfit to show, and no exciting social life. Why? Why is my life so miserable, compared to others? Why can´t I have the same too?

Social media is the perfect environment to spread the deadly virus of victimhood. Because others have a better life, I should feel sorry for myself because I don´t have it. And so, as an act of not being “left behind” I produce my perfect life on the social media too… but that doesn´t help me, because I know it’s all a lie. My life is really not better; if anything, I’m getting more anxious, and impatient. I’m losing the sense of reality where one has to work hard to get what one deserves; Seeing so many influencers and famous people in social media having the easy life, makes you wonder what can you do so to reach the same standard, without having to work your ass off. 

So, where is this all heading to? It seems like we are going into a spiral with no end. The more we use social media, the more we tend to go away from our real life. In order to keep our imaginary life, we need to spend enormous amount of time backing it up with photos, comments, likes and interaction with others. The more likes and attention you get, the more trapped you feel in the web. You feel that you “have to” keep posting, keep liking and commenting. The more you do it, the more the anxiety, and the impatience, and the feeling of loss you experience. Is like if you are aiming to reach the top of the mountain; the elixir of life; the ectasis of fame and glory…and with every “like” or “comment” you receive a little share of it, your dopamine levels increase… the excitement grows… but stays there just a microscopical time. Your fame last as long as the newsfeed allows you to stay, which is barely some seconds.

I found this the hard way. I used to spend many hours of my day in social media just to get a grasp of what does it feel to be “popular” or that someone pays attention to your life for once. But as a lifelong student of human nature, I did know that those spikes of satisfaction are very superficial and last just an instant. The truth is, people is more worried about themselves that they are about you. You cannot get popular or get attention, unless you have paid attention to them first. In the social media world it means, that if you want to get many followers and be popular if you are not already a popular person or an authority of some sort, then you have to follow and comment a lot to others first. If you like their pictures and feeds, they will correspond liking yours. It’s a mutual exchange of acceptance. In Twitter is even a common strategy to gain followers: “#followforfollow- follow me and I will follow back. Who cares who you are, and what are your ideas about life… I just care that you follow me and that’s why I follow you.

That sounds pathetic, but that´s pretty much how social media works. It’s another world of illusions. The world online very rarely represents the reality; But for some people, the online world has become more legitimate than the offline one. I am online, therefore I exist. 

The addiction to social media and the amount of hours we spend in building a fake life there seems sometimes to be a personal problem; but we are not alone on this. Actually, as Jaron Lanier mentions in his book “Ten Arguments for Deleting your Social Media Accounts Right Now”, those tools have been specifically designed to cause user-addiction. Lanier quotes in his book the former vice president of user growth at Facebook, Chamath Palihapitiya: “The short-term, dopamine-driven feedback loops we’ve created are destroying how society works…No civil discourse; no cooperation; misinformation, mistruth. And it’s not an American problem- this is not about Russian ads. This is a global problem…”

In the online world, all what matters is to get your attention at all costs. That’s why the social media platforms are built in a way that you can see certain information just in a very short span of time. New information in the “newsfeeds” is flowing like a mad river at all times, if you want to catch up with what´s going on with all your contacts you have to constantly keep scowling back and forth…it seems like a pervasive present, never ending, no limits attached. This of course has consequences in the way we absorb and manage information. Short attention spans limit of capability to think deeply about any matter. Flash news and short comments replace long conversations and long research (reading books, looking around in the environment to get a better understanding) which leads to decreasing your ability to focus and work on a certain topic for long periods of time.

The question we need to ask ourselves here is the following: Why to spend most of our times trying to feed ourselves in the online world, where everything is just images and words, when there is a richer, more fulfilling and exciting world offline?

PAOLA KNECHT is a certified leadership, transformational, and self-development coach, author of The Success Mindset: Take Back the Leadership of Your Mind and A World of Illusions: A Wake-Up Call and the Search for the Truth. Learn more at my-mindpower.com.

What giving really means

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Giving is a profound word. I believe that most of the times we don’t really think about the real meaning of giving in our daily lives.

What does it mean to give anyway? If you’re being lazy like me right now, instead of  really thinking about the word and its meaning, you would just go to Google and type the word and see what is coming to get an idea. So let’s do so.

Top two Google answers:

Giving:

  1. Freely transfer the possession of (something) to (someone).
  2. Cause or allow (someone or something) to have or experience (something); provide with.

That’s a non-brainer.

So simple and yet so difficult sometimes to understand, the profound impact that giving has in our lives. In a world that seems to be getting more selfish, more individualistic, more self-serving and self-sufficient, feels to me that we are losing the side-track of the very meaning of life, which is to give.

I never thought about it so much in my life up to now. I did an Engineering and Business Administration degree and understood all the technical and business concepts I needed to get myself into a good job. I followed all the society norms to the letter, what it means to be a “good person”. Yet I never truly thought about this word in all my actions and relationships I’ve had all this years. I always heard that you should give to receive, that giving is a good thing. Yet I always thought I understood it in my mind. I thought that I was doing good in that area, you know? I gave some money here and there to homeless people on the street. I donated money sometimes to charity. I helped a friend with advice, or with organising a party for them. I helped colleagues at work with business or personal problems. So I thought I knew it all about giving…didn’t I?

But actually after being a Mother for the first time, it is when it finally hitted me: I had no clue what giving really means.

There is a verse that rounds up very nicely the idea of giving, which for me opened a new whole meaning of this beautiful word. This verse is from an Indian master named Nagarjuna, which wrote it eighteen centuries ago. I discovered this while reading the Diamond Cutter, by Geshe Michael Roch and Lama Christina MacNally:

I will tell you briefly the fine qualities

Of those in the path of compassion:

Giving and ethics, patience and effort,

Concentrating wisdom, compassion and such.

Giving is giving away what you have,

and ethics is doing good to others.

Patience is giving up feelings of anger,

And effort is joy that increases all good.

Concentration is one-pointed, free of bad thoughts,

And wisdom decides what truth really is.

Compassion is a kind of high intelligence

Mixed deeply with a love for all living kind

I finally learned that giving is not a simple transaction. It is not an action so I can get something in return, or an action that I do so I can feel better about myself in a self-centered manner.

Being a Mother was for me a manifestation of a higher awareness of living a meaningful life. I discovered that the real meaning of giving is Love. Love is the strongest, most powerful of all human feelings and is completely attached to the art of giving.

When I was younger, I defined having a meaningful life with having certain self-serving things: Possessions, relationships, degrees, recognitions. But deep inside I knew something was missing.When I carried in my arms my little baby for the first time, I understood it. According to the ancient Buddha teachings, it says that every person is driven deep inside by a desire of a truly meaningful life, and that we are incapable of really reaching happiness until we find it. In our social interactions, even if you are friendly and nice to others, you still see them as “others”. Between you and me, there is a barrier, the barrier of our bodies and the matter around us.

When you have a child, this child is like an extension of yourself. You love this little being  to the core because it comes from within you, and you don’t see the limits of his/her body with your body. If your child is in danger, you would jump out like a Tiger and would probably kill whoever attempts to hurt him/her, as if it would happen against your very self.

We know this is the protective instinct, nothing revolutionary there.

Then I came across what Roch and MacNally call it the “Ultimate Management Tool”: A three step method for leading a truly successful life. This practice is called “exchanging yourself and others” and it is the real act of giving at its very core:

The first step suggest being observant what others need and like, so that you can be able to give them what they want. What would be the advantage there?

Take the example of the business world. How performance reviews are built thinking in an individual performance rather than a team performance. This triggers that a person just looks after their immediate performance, regardless if it is beneficial for others or not. With so many individual performance reviews, Management then wonders why corporate objectives are at the end not met. If you would intuitively and genuinely look to provide what others really want, they will develop the same attitude towards you. This is a multiplying force that would bring much more benefits to the organisation, by jointly powerfully building value together.

The second step goes a bit deeper in practice, but it is as well more powerful. It is called switching bodies. This is empathy at a higher level. To get to know the person so good that you can actually imagine yourself being in the shoes of the other person and try to understand completely what their wishes are, as if you would be them. By doing this, you can truly give them meaningful words and actions. The implication of having this kind of mindset is simple: You will be surrounded with people that really care, because you care for them as you would for yourself.

The third step is the most radical one, but it is also the one that actually leads most of the laws of the Universe: This is when your mind has completed broken the self-centered and selfish mode and enter into a whole new concept. This is not anymore a question of how can I get higher bonus, how can I increase my sales? Now it becomes as how can we get a higher bonus, how can we get higher sales… as if you and me would be ONE. It is really to expand the purpose of working for the sake of others to, working as if there is no OTHERS, just ONE (us).

This is like all the natural laws of life: The Mother cannot be a Mother her-self but is a Mother because she produced, created, protected… another being. Mothering, signifies extended life, expansion and umbrella of protection. Also you can see it in how our body is formed. The body is nothing but many different types of  millions of cells that together create tissues and subsequently organ systems. They ensure homeostasis and the viability of the human body.  The cells alone, do not have any meaningful value. But the cells together, are the responsible for creating the marvellous human body- your body- which acts as ONE.

I believe the same process can be applied to human systems, for us to grow, to develop and to reach the ultimate wealth, happiness and satisfaction. And GIVING is what triggers it all. When you give in a selfless manner, others give to you as such, to a point there is no taking care of ME (self) anymore but taking care of ME (us). How different our families, societies, companies and nations would be, if we could just apply this beautiful concept, don’t you think?

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Common beliefs about Money

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It´s Monday, 6:00 A.M. You wake up still on a zombie state. You start to move towards your day with the same routine: Get in the shower, get dressed, maybe get some breakfast if time allows and run out of the house to go to work, take your kids to school. Then you take the car or the metro and find yourself stuck in traffic, or struggling to get through the mass of people at the metro station, all of them doing the exact same thing. You arrive to the office at around 8:00 A.M, hoping to get some more coffee to finally «start» the day. You do your work, hoping that the time goes fast, so it´s soon 6:00 P.M and you can finally go home, just to face another day, waiting for Friday to arrive, hoping for the next holiday.

The lyrics of Loveboy song «Working for the weekend» could not say it better:

«Everybody’s working for the weekend
Everybody wants a little romance
Everybody’s goin’ off the deep end
Everybody needs…»

More than being an observer, I have participated in this life. I often wondered what is what motivates us lead this kind of life. Do we feel obligated to do the same as others, to earn some decent living? When you wake up in the morning, do you feel happy and energised to start the day, or do you wish your wake up alarm would run out of battery, just to stay a few more minutes, or a few more hours… or even better, not to have to get up from bed at all?

According to statistics highlighted at Forbes regarding job satisfaction, 53% of Americans are currently unhappy at work. This reveals an uncomfortable truth, about motivation and sense of well being. Also, for many, it is the fact that they get stuck in a job they no longer like or enjoy, or does not let them grow, for the pure reason of being afraid to be unemployed and worried about not being able to meet the months end. Although there are certainly other reasons why people stay in jobs they don’t like or do not make bigger steps in their careers, I would like concentrate in the relationship most people have with Money.

We need Money, to be able to function as an individual, as a family and as a society. Yet most of people have an altered understanding about Money. We often think, that Money is scarce. That you have to compete with other people to get more Money. That it is wrong to wish and desire more Money because it make us selfish and unthoughtful of people that have less. That in order for us to get more Money, we have to take it away from other people. Or even worse, that we don’t deserve more! All those beliefs makes us have a rather conflicting attitude about earning Money.

But guess what? There is a way to maintain a more healthy attitude about Money. In fact,  according to the old Tibetan wisdom, «all human endeavour, is to enrich ourselves-to achieve prosperity, both outer and inner. We can enjoy this prosperity only if we maintain a high degree of physical and mental health».

Let’s look at five ways we can improve our relationship with money and how  this has a direct impact in our personal choices in the kind of life we want to live.

1. Identify what are your underlying beliefs about Money

I’m sure you have heard many times the famous phrase: «You cannot have it all»

Why not?

Most of us got raised thinking that we have to do certain things in order to get a reward or else we get a punishment. We had to «work hard»: Go to school, do all our homework, clear our room and eat all our dinner in order to get a reward, which was sometimes getting a toy or pocket money.

So this belief that we must work very hard in exchange for Money and that there is a restriction about how much we can get, is injected in our subconscious mind and as we move along in life and we follow the same path over again: We get a university degree, get a regular job and strive to stay there, even if we don’t like it, jut to pay the bills. We learn that economy is rather focusing in scarcity rather than abundance. The media only talks about poverty, conflicts and catastrophes. There is therefore no wonder that most people think they live in scarcity and we must save and collect money because it can run out, rather than think about getting it circulating, which is why most people get afraid of changing the status quo of their current situation.

Dedicate few moments a day to reflect what are your personal beliefs about Money. Once you identify those beliefs, you can take the decision to turn them around and decide that you have the right to live abundantly in order to grow spiritually, mentally and physically. Money is not the goal, is just an instrument to get what you truly desire in Life.

«The person’s right to life means his right to have the free and unrestricted use of all the things which may be necessary to his fullest mental, spiritual and physical unfolding»- Wallace D. Wattles

2. Concentrate in what you can give, more than what you will receive

There are many ways to give and there is always something to give. The act of giving is one of the most basic yet one of the most wonderful human virtues there are, as it is an expression of generosity and love.

                 «Love finds its most natural and spontaneous expression in giving»

– Wallace D. Wattles

According to the Buddha teachings, giving is a natural expression of cause and effect: «Every effect has a cause and condition. Cause and condition combine to make an effect. There is no exception to this rule». If you want to experience an abundant life you must give and you will receive.  If you are kind to people, people will be kind to you. Whatever you send out to the universe, it will come back to you.

3. Invest in yourself

We always find excuses why not to invest in ourselves: There is not enough time. There is not enough Money. My boss is not supporting my development. The economy is bad and therefore there is no budget left for trainings.

All of us want to grow. We all want to get transcendental in the things we do and get recognition. However, in order to know more, and do more, you also must invest more in yourself.  There is a popular saying that «you cannot render greater service to God or Humanity than to make the most of yourself». The law of life is grow and expansion for all living things on this earth.

Warren Buffet  also rightly pointed it out: «The most important investment you can make is in yourself»

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4.  Maintain a positive Mindset towards Money

We can increase our confidence in our capacity to manage Money by developing  good habits. Planning your finances towards the goals that matter to you and your family the most, helps in keeping focus in your saving and spending habits. When your spending is in line with reaching your goals, you get more motivation and confidence on the goal attainment.

It also helps to keep the focus on your own goals alone and stop comparing your situation with what others have or do not have. Experience gratitude for the abundance that you currently have in your life, and forget about past mistakes that might hold you back from developing a more positive attitude about your financial situation.

5. Trust in your capabilities and don’t be afraid to dream Big

“I always knew I was going to be rich. I don’t think I ever doubted it for a minute.”-Warren Buffet

We all are born with the same potential to be and do what we desire. The only difference is in the awareness you have in yourself about this undeniable truth.

Honor yourself by having confidence in what you can achieve. Don’t be afraid to dream big. The most valuable thing we have is time. A common mistake we do is to trade all our time for Money. Because we all have only 24 hours a day, the amount of Money we can get by only trading time is limited. Think about giving more value to your work. Think about multiple sources of income. Multiply your possibilities by diversifying your resources and building powerful partnerships.

Life is short. Take that shot! like Mark Zuckerberg says: The biggest risk is not taking any risk … In a world that’s changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks».

«A man who conquers himself is greater than he who conquers a thousand men in battle»- Buddha

Attention and Effort: How would you recognise bias in your decision making?

It never stops to amaze me the brilliant human mind. As I grow older and go through life, I always wondered how we are able to make decisions in our daily lives. We make thousands of decisions on a regular day, sometimes we are able to make them fast, in a fraction of a second, and other times, we need to go through a rigorous process of self-reflection, involving as well other people; We research and look for all available sources of information that we can process in order reach a meaningful decision.

What is going on inside our minds while we are processing all this information? Do we use the same mental faculties when we do fast and slow decisions?

I heard it many times. This advice is out there everywhere…you get it from books, movies, entrepeneurs, leaders, church, family and colleagues… use your intuition and use it fast! it NEVER lies!

I believe in intuition and its power but then, why so many people who trusted in their initial intuition failed at their jobs, marriages, business ideas, you name it? Where is this intuition coming from? how do we differentiate an intuition from the automatic impulses of the brain retrieving memories of the past, connecting them together to build a clearer mental picture of the situation and taking the decision based on the past self experience on it?

Can we really trust our intuition as professionals, when making decisions at work?  Are we really consciously and deliberately looking for the best possible solution to a problem, or is our mind generally more lazy and prefers to go with that gut feeling, trusting that we have enough capability and experience to reach an important decision?

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Photo from: Pexels.com

Interestingly enough, Economists somehow have often neglected the «intuition» factor and for many decades, the Max Weber´s theory of Rationality has been widely used to explain and model the social and economic behaviour with the main premise that an individual has definite preferences among a series of alternatives  where –  by using  the available information, probabilities and events available – would then act consistently in chosing the best decision.

Rationality has been used as a main assumption and it has been the most used cost-effective method for decision making  and policy making in a range of fields like Political Science, Business, Philosophy and Sociology. This theory, assumes that people make choices to maximize their happiness or utility and they choose them consciously and using their logical reason; it is the sum of choices made by individuals what makes the total «behaviour» more predictable.

Daniel Kahneman, winner of the Nobel Prize for Economics and the author of the famous book «Thinking Fast and Slow», together with Amos Tversky, are one of the main critics of the Rationality theory and in 1979 they released the «Prospect Theory» approach, which states that people mainly make choices by adding weights to the alternatives depending on the level of risk they assign and the sense of gains and loses. Certain biases in our thinking are then created because often the fear of regret or loss  predominates – a hurtful emotion-and this plays a big role in influencing the outcome of the decision.

In order to better explain what is going on in our minds when confronted with a situation that requires a decision,  Kahneman introduces us in his book to two characters that «live» inside our minds: System 1 which is the one that is in touch with our daily happenings, and the one that continually interprets our current «reality» by constructing a coherent interpretation on what is happening in our lives, and System 2, which mainly deals with the effortful mental activities that demand increased attention, like for example when trying to solve a complex mathematical problem. This two «Systems » are of course fictitious characters, but on this way, it makes it easier for us to recognise the two main functions of our thinking.

So what are the main functions of our «System 1»?

  • Generates impressions, beliefs and inclinations
  • operates quickly and automatically
  • creates a coherent pattern of ideas that are in our associative memory
  • neglects ambiguity and surpasses doubt
  • focus on existing evidence and forgets absent evidence
  • is loss averse: responds more strongly when losing than when winning something

System 2 operations are more effortful but one of its main characteristics is laziness, therefore it will be reluctant to invest more effort than strictly necessary. Activities that impose high demands on System 2 require a high degree of self-control, and self-control can be for many exhaustive and unpleasant, so our mind tries to avoid it. Therefore is evident that in our daily undertakings, we tend to use much more our System 1 than our System 2, exposing ourselves to many bias in our thinking than we are actually aware of.

Some of the main biases that we experience in our daily and professional lives, identified by Kahneman and Tversky are:

Planning fallacy: This one is very common in business. This is related to the phenomenon of taking false predictions of the estimated time it will take to complete a specific task. This is often the result of overconfidence in knowing results on similar projects due to past experience and overestimation of actual tasks versus estimate at completion. The subsequent effects are, as project managers well know, an overrun plan often leads to sunk costs and benefit shortfalls.

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Photo from Pexels.com

Priming effect: Mechanism of association between words, concepts, feelings and situations. Most of the time, people is not really aware that their actions are influenced by events  that they associate in their memories unconsciously. (e.g. Think about BANANA and VOMIT… did you temporarily felt a rejection of eating a Banana right now?) this is a great tool for Marketers!

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Cognitive illusions: Illusions of thought and the famous Müller-Lyer illusion. What do you see? is the horizontal line on the bottom longer than the one on the top?

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Illusions of remembering and illusions of truth:  The Psychologist Larry Jacoby describes this phenomena in great words » The experience of familiarity has a simple but powerful quality of ‘pastness’ that seems to indicate that it is a direct reflection of prior experience». Something to watch out for, is that this is an effective way to make people believe in false information via frequent repetition, because often familiarity is not easily distinguished from the truth.

We deliberately look for causes and intentions: Our brains don’t like the randomness of life, therefore, we are looking automatically for causes and explanations that make sense, and this often shapes our thinking about certain situations.

What you see is all there is: As our brain capacities to retrieve information are finite, we look consistency in the information we have available in order to make a good story of a situation, regardless of its completeness.  Combining limited information with cognitive ease (i.e. familiarity), make our story come across as true. This is mainly why according to Kahneman, we are able to think fast and how we make sense of our complex world with only partial information.

Overconfidence:  The level of confidence that a person has in their beliefs relies on the level of quality of the stories and how well they explain what they see, even if what they see is just very limited information.

 

Framing effects: Different ways of showing information can change our decision and how we think about a situation. (e.g. if you are on diet, and you see two products, one saying » 80% fat-free» and the other saying «contains 20%  fat»   you will most likely  choose the first one even if the information is exactly the same). A similar situation can happen when  you see two advertisements; one with bold letters and one with blurry or small letters. Because the brain can pick up more quickly the bold letters, you will refer this statement as true as compared to the other.

Substitution and heuristics: When we are asked a particular difficult question like: How happy are you now? our mind substitutes this question with something like «What is my mood right now? For our mind, it is easier to generate quick answers by replacing the difficult question with a simpler one without making our lazy System 2 work too hard.

This story becomes more interesting, when you add the phenomenon of «intensity matching» to the equation. If you would put a dollar value to the intensity of your feelings, you will probably be willing to spend more money on things that will increase the feeling of being in a good mood which will increase your belief that you are becoming more happy with that transaction.

Affect heuristics: Judgements and decisions are directly guided by feelings of liking and disliking with little deliberation or reasoning. This is easily observable in the political scene. It is very likely that your political preference determines which arguments you find more compelling. If System 2 would enter into the picture, you would have to do a thorough research of all arguments, make comparisons, build probabilistic scenarios and choose the most «rational» argument regardless of the candidate.

Sampling and «Small numbers» effect: In the professional and scientific worlds, we know for a fact that when doing research, larger samples are more reliable than smaller samples. However, in our daily life, we tend to ignore the sample size and let our intuitive mind make a conclusion. If you read a business report that says:  «Out of a questionnaire made with 200 young customers, 80% loved our product». Your immediate interpretation would be that the product is successful among Millennials. You could change the number to 2,000 or 20,000 and you would probably remain indifferent, because you are more interested in the story you just interpreted from the statement and less conscious about the sample size.

Availability and affect: What is it more likely to happen, that a person dies by having diabetes or by a car accident?

In a famous study made by Paul Slovic, Sara Lichtenstein and Baruch Fischhoff, and cited by Kahneman, revealed that public perceptions of risks were heavily influenced by media coverage. In our previous example, death by accidents was judged to be 300 more likely than death by diabetes; however the death by diabetes is actually 4 times bigger! Of course, you hear more often about car accidents in the media than from episodes of death by diabetes.

Our perceptions of risk and our limited ability to deal with small risks makes us either ignore the risk all together, or put too much attention on it. This results in that we are often prone to exaggerate the consistency of coherence of what we see!

So, how can we detect which situations make us more susceptible to «go with the flow» in System 1 mode rather than activate a more conscious  System 2 approach?

  • When we are multitasking
  • when we are in a good mood because of a thought of a happy experience
  • when we possess a moderate knowledge about a specific topic but this is the area we have more experience, so we trust our knowledge gained instead of asking true experts
  • when we are naturally inclined to believe our faith and intuitions
  • when we are made feel powerful or important

Does that mean that we have to be in an alert and depressive mode all the time to make better decisions?  Should we ignore our faith and gut feeling?

Is there really «no cure» for our biased thinking?

If subjective confidence is not to be trusted, how can we evaluate the validity of a judgement?

According to research done by Gary Klein, the higher the unpredictability of the events to forecast, the more the failures we tend to make.  So when we acquire sufficient skill in an environment  that is sufficiently regular to be predictable and if we get the chance to learn the skill under prolonged practice in this predictable environment, it will reduce significantly the probability of biases and mistakes. The gut feeling can be generally trusted, when it is done in an environment that has been thoroughly studied and where we know we have sufficient knowledge and capability to respond in that specific environment.

It is important that we learn to take a better self-control and maintain an alert mind to potential biases when doing important decisions at work and in our daily lives in general. If we pick the wrong choice in an unpredictable environment, most likely our learning experiences will be also biased.

Although it is inevitable that we fall in the trap of our own bias, which are invading our conscious mind everyday, there are some things that can be done to improve the way we make decisions:

  • Keep a critical mindset. Even if you are an expert in your area, make an effort to  verify and validate all possible information available
  • avoid relying in the past to look for solutions. Most of the times, those solutions are already obsolete. Focus on opening new alternatives and envision the Future
  • forget about the «Sunk costs»- They are gone! Don´t stay in a failed project, bad marriage or bad job because of the «Investment done so far»- Move on!
  • be humble, and open to new ideas and perspectives
  • try to look for a collective decision-making, even if it takes more time,when very important decisions have to me made and where many people will be affected by the outcome
  • if you have a strong belief or intuition, try to find sustainable information  supporting your belief, before making the decision
  • avoid the temptation to be «right» at all times and stay true to the facts

Biases in our decisions does not affect our intelligence. Most of our actions and judgements we make are appropriate most of the time, but being aware of the existing conscious bias and acting upon them will definitely increase the quality of your decisions!

«Thinking is the highest and most powerful faculty given to Humans» B.Proctor