No sé si alguna vez hayas sentido como si en realidad, no fueras parte de este mundo. Te sientes ajeno a él, y no logras entender cuál es la razón por la que estás en esta vida.
Como si a veces, todo resultara tan transitorio e insignificante pero a la vez, tu vida está atrapada en una rutina abrumadora, de la que pareces no poder escapar jamás.
Al levantarte por la mañana, sientes una pesadez. Tan solo al tomar consciencia del nuevo día, tu mente comienza a bombardearte con todas las actividades y responsabilidades que te esperan. Suena la alarma del reloj y se siente como una amenaza al espíritu, un llamado a la condena, a la prisión mental de los horarios y actividades que debes de cumplir… otro día más, sin tener tiempo para hacer lo que en realidad quisieras hacer.
¿Qué sentido tiene, levantarse cada día y sentir que no quieres estar despierto?
Y después ya entrado en la rutina, te das cuenta que el trato con la gente se ha vuelto mecánico, político, ideológico, sin un real trasfondo de respeto mutuo y amistad. Pareciera que la gente se vuelve cada vez más egoísta, más en sí misma, y menos confiada. En las relaciones reina el drama y los conflictos. Te preguntas si alguna vez, volverás a construir relaciones estrechas y de calidad con gente verdadera, de carne y hueso; poder abrazarlas, en lugar de mantener relaciones huecas por las redes sociales.
Quizás no te identificas con lo que pasa en el mundo. No entiendes porqué tantas guerras, tanta avaricia, tantas enfermedades, tantas mentiras… tanta maldad. ¿Cómo es posible, si en nuestro interior sabemos, de forma intuitiva, que el ser humano es intrínsicamente un ser con capacidad infinita de amar, un ser que puede hacer maravillas, y proviene del diseño perfecto de Dios?
No estás solo. El camino del guerrero, inicia también con el despertar. Es un despertar bastante amargo; es como salir de un estado de trance, de coma, en donde de pronto te despiertas y no reconoces el mundo a tu alrededor. ¿Cómo es posible, sentirse así, si este es el único mundo que siempre hemos conocido? De pronto, te sientes solo o sola, en un mundo lleno de gente.
Es un despertar espiritual, una revolución del alma. Tu cuerpo siempre ha estado aquí, presente. Desde que naciste, has llevado una vida como la cualquier otro: ir a la escuela, buscar una profesión, trabajar, formar una familia, tratar de construir algo, basado en tu propia expresión de vida. Pero el guerrero espiritual se da cuenta en algún punto del camino que algo no va bien; que la humanidad no está avanzando en la dirección correcta. Hay crisis de Fé, de esperanza y parece reinar la confusión, las ideologías políticas y las corrupciones a gran escala de empresas e instituciones que han ganado más poder que el de un ciudadano soberano que ama su tierra, su gente y su comunidad.
Sabes en tu interior que tu poder va más allá de vivir una vida esclavizada, de seguir reglas y de sobrevivir… va más allá de “pasar el día”. Sabes que tu mente es más poderosa de lo que crees y crea tus propias realidades. Que el mundo no es “algo allá afuera” si no que tú lo creas con tus pensamientos e intenciones. Que el victimismo no es más que una ilusión para evadir la responsabilidad de afrontar y organizar la propia vida.
En realidad, Dios nos ha concedido con ese poder, y como dice la biblia: “Pide y se te dará”…al árbol se le conoce por sus frutos.
El guerrero, comienza con la propia búsqueda de la verdad. Se aleja de las manadas. Se siente mejor con poca gente, y pasa mucho tiempo en soledad. En ese camino solitario, uno aprende a encontrarse a sí mismo, y reconectar con su propio poder.
Te das cuenta que la verdad es que no perteneces a este mundo, porque tu origen es divino. La tierra es densa, de muy baja vibración. Tu alma es luz, que brilla en una alta vibración, la misma vibración que crea la energía más pura, la energía del amor.
La tierra en realidad es un lugar transitorio, donde aprendemos a utilizar el poder de nuestra mente y a utilizar la energía de forma creativa, tal y como hemos sido diseñados.
La tarea del guerrero en el mundo es simplemente eso. Crear con la energía del amor. Hacer lo que amas es la manifestación más grande de esa energía. Tratar a los demás con amor, y hacer del amor tu fuente mayor de energía; es la única manera de transformar el mundo.
Ese es el destino del guerrero. No estamos solos, pues vamos siempre de la mano de Dios.
https://www.paolaknecht.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/pexels-photo-1136575.jpeg13001040paolahttps://www.paolaknecht.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/logo.pngpaola2023-02-21 22:30:412023-02-21 22:30:41El Camino del Guerrero Comienza en la Soledad
When we think of a leader, what often comes to mind is someone with a strong character, powerful, smart, ambitious- someone who shows you the way about how things should be done- but we should ask ourselves if those traits are still the ultimate attributes of leadership. I certainly challenge that view.
As a life learner of the concept of leadership and success, and by intensely researching the traits of great leaders and linking this knowledge with my experience as a professional coach, I realized that there is something more profound in their mindset, something beyond the quest for power and ambition. Regardless of their path of life, what differentiates the extraordinary leader who has the biggest and long-lasting impact on societies versus the one that merely displayed a power show in front of the scenarios but with the time it vanished like a small dust particle in the vast desert?
I have spent more than ten years in the corporate business environment. During this time, I came across a number leaders from all kinds; using the definitions from Goleman, Boyatzis & McKee from their book Primal Leadership (2002): from the very directive and autocratic ones, all the way to the charismatic, democratic and laissez-faire ones. I´m trying to recall when did a boss really caused an impact for me and my career. I realized that I could count them with one hand and I would even have many fingers left.
The reality is, the concept of leadership has been a misleading one for me. For years I have been taught that a leader is someone who has to guide the masses, who knows and understands what and when things need to get done; But when I reflect on what is it what made a leader to have a real impact on me, the image that comes to mind is clear: I admire those leaders who trusted in my capabilities and guided me on a way I felt I was developing and growing. I appreciated those conversations that were not just about judging and evaluating my performance and having to prove to them how I am capable to solve certain problems; but those that had a more personal touch. Where I felt listened to. Where there was an air of mutual respect and where my thoughts and ideas were welcomed. That’s when I realized that a real leader is somebody that can connect with their people; someone that can listen, and acts like a coach who looks after development and not after performance.
A conscious leader is somebody that builds influence based on trust, open communication and strong cooperative relationships. Someone that does not seek after the end game, but enjoys the process of getting there and is capable to transmit that energy and passion for the journey- and not only for the destination. As leaders, we do not need to have all the answers and solve all the problems; there is no such thing as being a master. The accumulation of skill and experience is not all that matters; it is also crucial to be able to develop self-awareness and compassion towards others.
Specially in times like the ones we are living today, when organizations are suffering with staffing people- following the great resignation crisis that hit America on mid 2021, recent statistics performed by Bankrate in their 2021 Job Seeker Survey show that more than 55% of Americans in the workforce are thinking about changing their jobs. This trend combined with the increasing numbers of Americans who claim to be dissatisfied in their jobs is taking a heavy toll in the US with productivity loses which amount $450-$500 billion USD a year according to a 2021 Gallup Survey.
When we look at the main drivers of people quitting their jobs, we find out that the big majority still lists “limited career progression”, “inadequate leadership” or “not being valued and appreciated” as one of the top reasons. This is not an American phenomenon but a worldwide trend. Looking at a recent survey made by Michael Page, a top recruiting company in Switzerland- a country known for having one of the highest salaries in the world- have listed that the top reasons of people leaving the jobs are related to lack of training and development opportunities, and dissatisfaction with their leadership and management.
This leaves us with a sharp message: We need to change our paradigms about classic leadership and embrace conscious leadership for real; not only as a nice catch phrase to say at leadership meetings and fancy gatherings, but to truly get in the path of becoming a conscious leader by starting with developing our own self-awareness.
Now that I think about it, it sounds quite logical. To be able to lead others, one should be able to lead one-self first. If you cannot keep your house in order, your thoughts straight, and your principles clear- how can we expect others to do so?
And I suspect, this is the journey of our lifetime. It is not a one -time conquer, but an everyday discovery. And the same applies when leading others. The pathway to trust and to build strong long- lasting relationships requires daily work, and to develop skills that are more compassionate rather than assertive.
For example, it should be the primary goal of a conscious leader to develop the capability to help people in becoming self-aware of their own capabilities; by displaying curiosity, asking exploratory, open-ended short questions that help peoplerecognize their personal vision.
The Underrated Characteristics of the Conscious Leader
When you ask people to list the top five leadership traits, most people would come with the following keywords: influential, powerful, charismatic, confident, communicative, problem solver. However, if we aim to become conscious leaders, we need to develop other kind of traits that are not often associated to leadership.
Active Listening
Listening is the master of the skills. Unfortunately, it is as well one of the most underrated ones in leadership, especially in highly competitive environments where it seems like the louder you scream the better you are. Listening is often seen as with being quiet, introvert and receptive- traits which do not match with the typical image of strong and assertive leaders. However, active listening is a very powerful tool, that if used with enough awareness, could bring people to higher levels of understanding and unity.
In our role as leaders, it is of most importance to develop exceptional listening skills, which is the ability to be able to fully focus your attention on what the other person is saying without getting into distractions.
Research has shown that when active listening is present in the organizational culture, the levels of trust and cooperation are much higher than in organizations where employees feel that their opinions and ideas are neglected.
Patience
In a world where information flows at incredible speed rates and when the pressure to become faster at adapting changes is the norm, the art of patience seems to unfit with the desirable characteristics of a leader. However, by observing the main traits of the greatest leaders of our history, we can find in many occasions that one of the fundamental characteristics they had was developing a long standing patience.
To develop patience requires a great level of self-awareness. Patience is defined by common language as the capacity to accept and tolerate any kind of problems, and situations that do not develop as expected. It is done so without anxious feelings and therefore you remain emotionally stable. Leaders that show greater levels of patience are the ones that end up succeeding on long term objectives and ideals.
Among the examples of extraordinary leaders which were exceptional on this skill are Mahatma Ghandi, who displayed the determination to walk 390 km- a 24 hours walk- from Sabarmati Ashram in Ahmedabad to a small village called Dandi, in order to support the abolishment of the salt tax, which eventually triggered the event of the great Civil Disobedience Movement, where millions of people protested peacefully under his leadership and which finally culminated in the Independence of India from the British rule.
Former South African president Nelson Mandela’s patience and determination made him resist any obstacle and pay a condemn of twenty-seven years of prison in order to see his dream come true: The eradication of the Apartheid era in South Africa.
Silence
One might ask, how can silence benefit a leader in any way? In western cultures, silence has a bad popularity on the business and political arenas. Silence is associated with weakness, and fragility; perhaps even with lack of knowledge or inability to express. However, in oriental cultures, silence is regarded as one of the highest faculties of wise men.
In conscious conversations, silence is the space where actually the magic happens. Silence allows us to tap into our mind and reach for the solutions and answers we have been struggling to find in the “outside”. Although externally silence appears to have no content per se, actually, it is the space where everything is created. As a leader, giving people the space needed to think, reflect and answer calmly will allow for more meaningful and valuable inputs, as opposed to erratic non-sense responses triggered by the pressure to talk.
The problem solver vs the curious explorer
Typical leaders see themselves as problem-solvers by excellence. This is the one single quality that most people would agree belongs to a leader. It is one of the qualities most people get paid for. The bigger the problems the leader can solve, the bigger the economic rewards the person receives, and the bigger the recognition. However, when it comes to really understanding the reality of organizations and the real underlying feelings of the people, providing the answers to all of their questions and giving advice would rarely surface the root causes of the real problem.
The reality is, there is never a one single side of the story, a solution that fits-to-all, like most businesses like to think about. The issue with the problem-solving minded people is that in the urge to jump into action, they neglect to see the full picture, and to step back and try to understand what is really going on. Assertive personalities do not hesitate to act and although action is important, if applied in the wrong direction can lead to less desirable results.
What would happen if instead of jumping directly into the solution mode, as leaders, we would simply stay open and curious, and try to discover the real causes by maintaining an explorative mind?
Stepping back to look at the whole picture is a way to bring awareness to the current situation and this helps us maintain our feet on the ground.
In a research led by Dr. Jay Hardy, assistant professor in the College of Business at Oregon State University, it was found that people who showed strong curiosity traits on personality tests performed better on creative tasks than those that did not showed a strong curiosity trait on the test. Also, people who scored higher in having interests for exploring unfamiliar topics and learning something new, were more likely to come up with creative solutions to solve problems.
After all, curiosity and problem-solving are not mutually exclusive. On the contrary, a curious and open mind, will often lead to a better capacity to solve all kinds of problems. The key is not to get trapped on the egoistic self- rewarding solution mode, where the emotional need of control is bigger than the willingness to really understand the truth of things.
Conscious leaders are driven by a vision and steer their lives in the direction of reaching that vision
If you don’t know what do you want or where you are going, how can you be certain you are living your best life?
I have asked myself this question since a very early age. I was around eight years old, with my mother driving me home after school. I observed the dense traffic and the faces and expressions of the people; some looked like they really are enjoying the ride and others looked rather anxious and angry. I kept thinking about it for many years after: all of us are going somewhere; although I’m not sure everyone really has paid attention to where they are going.
Where I am going? To look for this answer, I understood, is the true essence of what life is all about. With the years I realized that I was not the only one in search for this quest and that it is as common as the sunset. Most of ancient and contemporary leaders and world thinkers actually placed that question as a central quest to understand their human existence.
Most people think that their destination is driven by external things that happen “by chance” around them. Very few are really capable to see that their own life is a consequence of their own personal choices (or the lack of thereof). A conscious leader understands that they are the captains of their boats and they have the capability to steer their life in the desired direction. Not only do they understand the value of having a vision to seek after; but also encourage others to look for their own personal vision and to work towards it.
What does it take to listen over to our consciousness first and take action towards what we really want? That’s one of the fundamental questions we should ask ourselves when we are willing to become more conscious about who we are and what is the impact that our leadership is having in others.
It is no secret, that becoming a conscious leader requires patience and courage. It is certainly not easy, to look at ourselves from the inside out. We prefer to look for imperfections in others, to claim that our cause is noble and righteous, and blaming whoever thinks otherwise. Our positions of power give us that opportunity to demand authority and respect, but that doesn’t mean that we have really gained it.
You might have the notion of being a good leader; but the best indicator to know that is to the degree in which the people closest to you really trust you. Can they rely on you when things are harsh? Can you keep your core stable despite the turbulences, and the catastrophes? Can you bring sanity and order in the otherwise chaotic world we live in? This is a self-reflection worth doing.
Conclusion
The seed of conscious leadership starts with self-awareness and the search for the truth. A conscious leader is an authentic leader, who can recognize the shortfalls but as well be honest about it with others. It is someone that has the humility to give more attention to the others first, and make an effort to understand others without the lenses of judgement or convenience.
To become a conscious leader requires to develop traits that have been often neglected on the traditional archetype of a leader; but those characteristics are crucial to cultivate higher virtues like compassion, justice and truth.
Being an authentic character is hard in our society. It means to show yourself in the open, to become vulnerable. It means to go beyond the comfort zone. You cannot become a conscious leader when you are not telling the truth about yourself. You might reach higher positions in a hierarchical status at work or in a social circle, but it will be a fragile foundation which won’t last.
After all, being conscious means being present; and being present is the ultimate state of human experience.
https://www.paolaknecht.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/pexels-photo-5583258.jpeg1300867paolahttps://www.paolaknecht.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/logo.pngpaola2022-08-18 21:04:412022-08-18 21:04:41Becoming a Conscious Leader
I have asked myself over and over again, what is the common denominator of all those personalities that I admire, who have known how to follow their intuition and develop their talents in a way that transcends the normal, and they become extraordinary beings, who manage to transform entire societies, or even generations.
The realm in which these people have succeeded appears to be irrelevant. Whether they are prominent people in science and psychology such as the great thinkers of the ancient time of humanity (Galileo, Socrates, Aristotle …) as more recent scientific figures (Newton, Einstein, Kepler), successful entrepreneurs of the modern world, or people outstanding in sports or the arts; in reality, no matter what area I investigate, I always find similarities in the way these people managed to break through the barriers of the common and catapult themselves into the world of the extraordinary, of the divine.
It does not matter so much where do you come from; nor what intellectual abilities you have. In fact, talent alone does not lead to success either – it is the focus and discipline combined with the constant effort of performing tasks and activities over a period of time- that makes you reach more than you ever thought possible.
Talent without focus is like wanting to travel from one point to another, say, London to New York, without choosing a specific route and just following all possible directions. A millimeter deviation in direction may not mean much in an instant, but if applied consistently, it can take you to a completely different place than you planned
How to achieve focus and concentration on the important areas of our lives? It is a question that constantly haunts my head. After all, we live in a world full of distractions. Just when you get up every morning, a check to your mobile, or turning on the television, results in huge amounts of information reaching your head and flooding you completely.
Here ‘s how you can improve your focus powers:
1. Connect your life purpose with a strong desire to make it happen
Having focus and discipline seems like easy task, but in reality, it requires enormous will power. Beyond the will, I dare to say for sure that it requires unconditional love and an unwavering passion for what you do and what you want to achieve. It’s connecting that desire for purpose with your deepest love. In this way, it is not possible not to be able to focus, or to concentrate, on what is really important.
2. Be aware of your thoughts
What are you letting into your mind every single day? Do we unconsciously let others bombard us with their own opinions, dreams and demands? Take the conscious decision to pay attention to your thoughts and assess if those are helping you in keeping the right focus in your daily activities.
3. Block large batches of time (minimum 2 hours) to work on a single thing
Most people prefer to schedule their day so that they spend at most an hour on each thing and then want to jump to the next. That usually doesn’t work when you want to do work that has a certain degree of complexity, like preparing a successful Marketing strategy, or developing Software code.
There is a famous term that justifies it: “residual attention”. When we are working on a project in a concentrated way, and suddenly something in your schedule distracts you, for example, the phone rings, or the reminder that you have the next meeting, when you stop and try to work on the next thing, your mind keep thinking about the previous problem or topic; so it takes a long time (approximately 20 minutes) to effectively transition from one topic to the next. That is why, if you fracture your schedule with different things to do each time, it becomes more difficult to focus on the task at hand and you end up doing things superficially.
4. Delegate administrative activities to dedicate more time to deep and creative work
The great physicist and Nobel Prize winner Richard Feynman has mentioned on different occasions what works for him to stay productive in his discoveries and scientific investigations: «To do a good job in the field of physics, you need to have long periods of time available to work on the subject itself … you need a lot of concentration … if you have a job where you also have to do administrative work, then you will not have enough time. So I made up a myth about myself: I’m irresponsible. I am actively irresponsible. I tell everyone that I am not going to do anything. If someone invites me to boards or committees to be part of something I tell them: No, I am irresponsible”.
5. Do less but more valuable things
When doing the activities that are important to you, make a commitment to concentrate fully on what you are doing and avoid losing too much time on things that are irrelevant. A good life is a deep life, which is focused and consistent with your vision and dreams.
Do not fill out your day with things that do not serve your purpose. Be picky, and strict with your time and schedule. Learn to say no. You will be surprised how many things you can achieve and how far you can go, when you maintain your priorities straight!
https://www.paolaknecht.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/pexels-photo-1485657.jpeg12531880paolahttps://www.paolaknecht.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/logo.pngpaola2022-03-30 14:59:132022-03-30 14:59:13Focus: The Secret of Success
Everybody has experienced those days: You wake up and feel low. You don´t understand why; just the night before, you were planning your next day and looking forward to it with anticipation. But then it came a bad night. Maybe you couldn´t sleep as good as you wanted; or simply woke up the next morning and felt down and unmotivated. You walk towards the window and you see its raining outside, big grey clouds dominating the sky.
You are supposed to keep working on that important piece of work; on that project. For us writers, you know what it is…. Write! But the feeling is universal.
So, you go to the kitchen and have breakfast. Check the news. Check the social media… suddenly you end up in Tik Tok watching all kind of nonsense. Two hours passed by… WTF? Now it’s time to get serious and go back to work. How can we drag ourselves to sit in the chair and actually commit to work?
Maybe you were planning to hit the gym early morning, or go for a jog around the corner. All those great plans seem quite far away from how you feel now. You start seeing the image of yourself actually hitting the gym more distant and your imagery starts to get more vivid on the thoughts of turning on the TV, watch Netflix and eat nachos.
Yes, I have been there. Many times. More than I would like to admit.
But I also know that if I follow the second plan (TV with Nachos) it will make me feel much worse later in the day. I call it “The hangover of procrastination”.
The feeling of unsatisfaction for not doing what we were supposed to do is as bad as the hangover feeling after drinking 8 shots of cheap tequila. It is unbearable. But we are smart people, so we have found mechanisms to go around the hangover of procrastination… with…more of it.
Typical example: You promise to yourself the night before that you will go jogging tomorrow morning. Then you wake up the next day and it’s raining outside. Then you say to yourself: “Oh no, it’s raining. I cannot go jogging because I will get wet and then I will get sick. Better tomorrow if the sun is shining”. And if tomorrow rains again? You know what will happen next.
The same with going back to work on your project. In a good “sunny day”, when you are in good mood, well rested, and well fed, then you are eager to work on it and even strive at it. But what happens in a grey day, when nothing seems to have a meaning?
I think that what differentiate the ordinary people from the extraordinary one, is precisely those people who show up with their responsibilities, no matter what; in the rain, in the snow, in sunny and grey days. Is the person that develops within him or herself the strength to overcome their feelings, pains and other obstacles and keep showing up every day.
So, to the question of what to do to keep going when you lack motivation, the answer is simple:
Do whatever you were planning to do. Show up. And do a double effort to strive, despite your down feeling.
You will realize that while doing it, the feeling of uneasiness and low energy disappears. You don’t give it any importance anymore, so you start to focus all your energy in the task at hand.
Believe me, it works wonders.
If I feel like not wanting to write, I just go and sit and write. And as I start writing and I let myself go on the act, I lose the sense of time. My body and mind are focused on the task so I have no time to think that I am unmotivated. This is how you get to finish any work that is of value. Working constantly, diligently, daily, with no big interruptions.
If everybody would just work when the time is right, the sun is shining and we feel at our top capacity, then probably we would still be living in caves hunting rabbits and making fire with two small wood sticks.
The key is the following: The more unmotivated you feel, the more you have to go and do it.
Like David Goggins rightly says in his book “Can´t Hurt Me”: “The reason it’s important to push hardest when you want to quit the most is because it helps you callous your mind. It’s the same reason why you have to do your best work when you are the least motivated”.
So, if you were waiting for some divine sign that gives you the immediate motivation burst, then take this: Go back to work!
https://www.paolaknecht.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/pexels-photo-2794212.jpeg12531880paolahttps://www.paolaknecht.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/logo.pngpaola2022-01-13 00:45:382022-01-13 00:45:38How To Keep Going When Motivation Is Not Around The Corner
One of the scariest things about writing is when you sit in front of a blank page and you feel paralyzed. What am I supposed to write?
I stare at the blank page in front of my screen for a while. Isn’t it ironic, that when I am doing other things, like cleaning, cooking, or working in another thing, I get hundreds of ideas in my mind about what to write, but when it comes to the time to actually sit and write them, all those great ideas vanish away and leave me empty and hopeless?
I bet you have been in a similar situation. It’s frustrating, isn´t it? Seems like to experience this situation is a perpetual life sentence for a writer.
However, not everything is lost! Overtime, I have learnt to trick my blocked mind and actually get my writing done.
Here are a few things that have helped me a lot. I hope they can help you too!
1. Start to write a journal
When I need new ideas, or I don´t know how to continue in the middle of a writing project, I use the old method of the diary. I basically start to write everything that happened to me during the day. I sometimes even start by writing something like: “Dear, journal, I have no clue what I want to write”. It seems like after I wrote those words, they left my mind, so I get “free space” for new ideas to emerge and they manifest in my diary. Then I just keep writing until I feel better. Guaranteed, something of what you wrote will be the seed of the new idea you just needed to keep going with your writing project or to start a new one.
2. Record your ideas the moment they come
If you are washing the dishes and suddenly a brilliant idea comes to you, go get your mobile and get it recorded! Try the voice memo app and get all your ideas recorded when they come to you! Later you can use a speech to text app to get them transcribed. In the beginning, I was reluctant to implement this idea. I preferred the old-fashioned way: A proper writer has to always write, right? So I was carrying a piece of paper and a pen “just in case” something comes up and I can write it. In a perfect world that would work, but not when you are a mama of two small kids and you need to clean a table surface full of spaghetti sauce with one hand while doing acrobatic movements to feed your little one, which refuses to eat, with the other. In a matter of seconds, I can go grab my phone, push a button and start talking.
3. Just sit and observe. Then write what you observe
Sounds maybe a bit stupid, but it works. Just sit in front of the computer and if nothing comes, just start writing what you see. Maybe you have a nice painting in the front wall with a beautiful landscape; or if you look outside the window, you can see your neighbor taking out the trash, or going for a walk with the dog. Observe everything you see and start writing about it. Believe it or not, this practice has given me a lot of ideas in my writing process! At least, it helps you get rid of the “freeze” and you start to get more relaxed while writing. Your Muse likes to come and assist you precisely in those moments when you are more relaxed and at ease. This is the best time for her (or him) to whisper to your ear what he or she wishes to see!
4. Take long walks in silence
This is one of my favorite tactics. If I just cannot get anything out of my head to write one single sentence, I leave it. I take a break and go for a walk outside. I love to walk in the forest or in a place where there is plenty of nature, if possible. Just to contemplate the beautiful oak trees, the shiny little buttercup flowers that emerge from the ground in spring time; the amazing shapes that the different sizes of the tree branches leave in the sky when you look upwards towards the light… for sure something you observe or experience in your walks will give you an inspiration to write about. Do not forget to take a voice memo device or a little notebook and pen with you!
5. Take a nap
This is an old-known tactic, especially for artists, or people with highly intellectual jobs. Einstein, Edison and Newton were regular practitioners of this simple but highly efficient act. If you feel like you cannot spend a second more in front of the computer, or at the job at hand, just leave it for a moment and take a nap. A power nap of 20 minutes would be sufficient. Then you give time to your subconscious to keep working on the idea, while your conscious is asleep. If something makes “click” you will dream about it, or at last, when you wake up refreshed and ready, it will flow through you while you write. If it helped the greatest minds of the world, why wouldn’t it help you? It has certainly helped me. Try it out!
There are obviously many more things you can do to overcome the writer’s block, but those five I just shared with you are the most powerful ones I know. If you have more tips and tricks, please do share them with me in the comment section below! I would love to hear about your ideas 🙂
In the meantime, happy writing!
https://www.paolaknecht.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/red-hands-woman-creative.jpg12531880paolahttps://www.paolaknecht.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/logo.pngpaola2022-01-13 00:35:222022-01-13 00:35:22How To Deal With Writer’s Block?
I have been working very hard these past weeks/months. As a mother of two toddlers, working almost full time in my praxis, reading, and of course, writing sometimes is difficult to find some quiet time to catch up. However, I didn’t want to wait any longer to share with you the great news that my first authored book, The Success Mindset, is soon going to be published on Amazon!
This is a dream come true for me. Since I was a little kid, I loved to read, write and hear stories about people. For many years, I’ve been studying the lives of leaders who I consider have been the most transcendental in human history. I have read and learnt intensively about the life of great philosophers, entrepreneurs, athletes and artists. Successful people from all paths of life.
I always wondered, what it is about them that made them so successful in life. Was it their life circumstances? Their luck? Their wealth? Their faith?
My quest in finding the truth- a truth I found fascinating because it applied as well to nearly every individual with real success- inspired me to document everything I have seen and learnt over the years and summarise them in a series of principles.
When I became a professional coach and started to get my first clients, I decided to apply those principles, and saw great results. My clients were able to transform their lives by discovering what gives them real joy and plenitude.
I have discovered my mission, and through this book I will guide you to find your own.
You will discover what is the difference between the feeling of a life that has a direction and a meaning, an inexhaustible capacity to prove a source of personal fulfilment and joy, and that of a life marked by compromise with a daily reality that seems to have forever frustrated our own ability to aspire to something different, better, to succeed.
Curious to know more?
Pre-order NOW your Kindle copy in Amazon following the below link:
There will be a Paperback version too, which will be available for pre-order on September 26, 2021
The official publication day is October 29, 2021!
Stay Tuned! And thank you for being here 🙂
“Paola Knecht’s book goes even deeper, going so far as to shed light on the deep mysteries of the human personality itself, on the secrets of that inner voice that has guided so many great leaders in their choices that have influenced millions of people, on the enigmas of that intuition that seems to be our most intimate connection with infinity.
«The Success Mindset» is an amazing book, and it is a must-read.”- J.E. King
https://www.paolaknecht.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/succesmindsetcover3d3-scaled.jpg17062560paolahttps://www.paolaknecht.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/logo.pngpaola2021-09-13 20:50:302021-09-13 20:50:30The Success Mindset, my first book coming soon!
It was all fun, when I joined Facebook back in 2007. I was about to graduate from University, so it was a very fascinating tool, to have all your friends in one network. There we could post our party photos, exchange information all sorts of events, and talk to eachother. It was a great place to meet other people as well, and learn (or noise around) the life of others.
I’m surprised about how popular this way of socialization became after just few years of its introduction. Before, we just had the mobile phones, the emails, the letters, the land lines… and the most retro way… personal contact. If you were a guy in the 1980s and wanted a girl to be your girlfriend, you had to have the guts to go directly to her and tell her in the face. But not anymore after the year 2020, where you are not even allowed to have social contact. You are not even allowed to show your face in public (i.e. facemasks?) so how could you meet a girl?
No worries, that´s what social media and all dating apps are there for. You have the chance to post the best possible picture about yourself; and construct an attractive persona with the fotos you upload and the catchy language you use. Is this real? As real as you want to believe it is. The advantage of social media is that you have an opportunity to build a completely remasterized persona. Are you a bit overweight? Photoshop is the answer. You don´t have any relevant academic degree? No problem, make yourself an influencer or pretend to be an opinionated intellectual in Twitter. You live in an ugly house or apartment? Fear not, you can use Instagram templates to embellish even the ugliest of places with flashy lights and neon colors. You have no friends? Nothing to worry about. Just pay for them! Facebook, Instagram and Twitter have specific services to make your page traffic increase.
You can change everything, to build your online persona. In fact, I know friends who do it. I bet you have those kind of friends too. Those who post their idyllic holidays; their endless social events; their last new outfit; the latest visit to the gym; the green thai chai latte from Starbucks that they just drank… their lives look perfect. And look at yours: You have overweight, have no money to go on holidays, no new outfit to show, and no exciting social life. Why? Why is my life so miserable, compared to others? Why can´t I have the same too?
Social media is the perfect environment to spread the deadly virus of victimhood. Because others have a better life, I should feel sorry for myself because I don´t have it. And so, as an act of not being “left behind” I produce my perfect life on the social media too… but that doesn´t help me, because I know it’s all a lie. My life is really not better; if anything, I’m getting more anxious, and impatient. I’m losing the sense of reality where one has to work hard to get what one deserves; Seeing so many influencers and famous people in social media having the easy life, makes you wonder what can you do so to reach the same standard, without having to work your ass off.
So, where is this all heading to? It seems like we are going into a spiral with no end. The more we use social media, the more we tend to go away from our real life. In order to keep our imaginary life, we need to spend enormous amount of time backing it up with photos, comments, likes and interaction with others. The more likes and attention you get, the more trapped you feel in the web. You feel that you “have to” keep posting, keep liking and commenting. The more you do it, the more the anxiety, and the impatience, and the feeling of loss you experience. Is like if you are aiming to reach the top of the mountain; the elixir of life; the ectasis of fame and glory…and with every “like” or “comment” you receive a little share of it, your dopamine levels increase… the excitement grows… but stays there just a microscopical time. Your fame last as long as the newsfeed allows you to stay, which is barely some seconds.
I found this the hard way. I used to spend many hours of my day in social media just to get a grasp of what does it feel to be “popular” or that someone pays attention to your life for once. But as a lifelong student of human nature, I did know that those spikes of satisfaction are very superficial and last just an instant. The truth is, people is more worried about themselves that they are about you. You cannot get popular or get attention, unless you have paid attention to them first. In the social media world it means, that if you want to get many followers and be popular if you are not already a popular person or an authority of some sort, then you have to follow and comment a lot to others first. If you like their pictures and feeds, they will correspond liking yours. It’s a mutual exchange of acceptance. In Twitter is even a common strategy to gain followers: “#followforfollow- follow me and I will follow back. Who cares who you are, and what are your ideas about life… I just care that you follow me and that’s why I follow you.
That sounds pathetic, but that´s pretty much how social media works. It’s another world of illusions. The world online very rarely represents the reality; But for some people, the online world has become more legitimate than the offline one. I am online, therefore I exist.
The addiction to social media and the amount of hours we spend in building a fake life there seems sometimes to be a personal problem; but we are not alone on this. Actually, as Jaron Lanier mentions in his book “Ten Arguments for Deleting your Social Media Accounts Right Now”, those tools have been specifically designed to cause user-addiction. Lanier quotes in his book the former vice president of user growth at Facebook, Chamath Palihapitiya: “The short-term, dopamine-driven feedback loops we’ve created are destroying how society works…No civil discourse; no cooperation; misinformation, mistruth. And it’s not an American problem- this is not about Russian ads. This is a global problem…”
In the online world, all what matters is to get your attention at all costs. That’s why the social media platforms are built in a way that you can see certain information just in a very short span of time. New information in the “newsfeeds” is flowing like a mad river at all times, if you want to catch up with what´s going on with all your contacts you have to constantly keep scowling back and forth…it seems like a pervasive present, never ending, no limits attached. This of course has consequences in the way we absorb and manage information. Short attention spans limit of capability to think deeply about any matter. Flash news and short comments replace long conversations and long research (reading books, looking around in the environment to get a better understanding) which leads to decreasing your ability to focus and work on a certain topic for long periods of time.
The question we need to ask ourselves here is the following: Why to spend most of our times trying to feed ourselves in the online world, where everything is just images and words, when there is a richer, more fulfilling and exciting world offline?
https://www.paolaknecht.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/pexels-photo-4236830.jpeg1300867paolahttps://www.paolaknecht.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/logo.pngpaola2021-09-05 21:09:322021-09-05 21:09:32The Illusion of Having a Life on Social Media
“A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall”
I don´t remember who said that brilliant phrase, but I have treasured it in my mind for more years that I can remember.
Many people believe that to be successful in life, especially on the business arena, you have to be assertive, aggressive and intimidating, to get people do what you want. You have to raise your voice, command things and make pressure to make things go your way…
A person that is nice, friendly and soft, is considered as weak, as if there is no value of possessing those qualities. What really matters, is to “get results”; so, the more you push, the more you throw commands to others, the more you will succeed…Right?
Well… Wrong!
Maybe you will get people do what you want on the surface, but if they felt under pressure to do it, or against their will, well, do not expect that this agreement will be sustainable.
The number one human nature´s law that most people forget with dealing with others is the following: No one likes to feel ignored or unimportant. Human nature law number two: Most people do not care about you. Most people care about themselves.
No one will follow anybody’s advice or opinion, if it does not resonate with them. A leader, a politician or a person of power can exert all the pressure he or she wants, and most likely a civilized individual will follow, but not by heart, but by convenience or obligation. At the end, whatever was imposed will not succeed in the long term, because for something to really change it has to touch the deepest layers of people’s hearts, to the point that they themselves think that the proposed idea is their own, and so they will embrace it with all the willpower and determination that only the aggressive forces can dream of.
In my still short but intense experience in business and life, I have observed what makes projects succeed and what makes them fail. I have seen how promising relationships start and how some end up in wonderful marriages, and how others crash quite spectacularly.
It seemed like a mystery to me to understand, to really understand this: What makes a project, any life project, succeed or fail?
I spent far too much time in the mechanics of it; maybe projects fail because it was the wrong strategy; the wrong customer; the wrong people; the wrong circumstances; the wrong partner; the bad weather; the financial crisis; lack of money or too much of it; the wrong politicians; the wrong systems…nearly anything can go wrong, but what makes something really go wrong?
That’s right, people.
People´s attitude is what really makes something succeed or fail.
All the life and business projects that went wrong in my life, had to do with one person: Me.
How I approached things and treated people were the differences between my success or my failure in any particular endeavor.
Galileo once said: “You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself”.
When we try to impose our views, ideas, ways of working, or whatever, to somebody else, it only will lead to opposition and conflict.
In the subtle art of dealing with people, most people forget that the only way to get people´s attention and buy-in is when you listen to them first, make them feel important and praise them sincerely for their contribution.
You will master the art of relationships when you understand that most people are hundred times more interested about themselves, of their wants and problems, than they will ever be about yours. When you understand this, you will immediately shift the attention away from you to place it in the others. People will notice when you pay attention to them and listened sincerely. They will praise this with following at the end your wishes, as it will feel it came from their own good will, rather than as a direct demand from you.
“If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get the opponent´s good will”- Benjamin Franklin
The little piece of honey, has thousand times better effects on people, than all the gall they can receive. We all receive our fair share of negativity everyday; it is as abundant as the air we breathe. But rarely we meet a person who sincerely and empathetically cares. Is rare to meet someone whose energy, enthusiasm, charisma and love shines so brightly than even the sun feels at competition.
Be that bright spot, by any means, be the star that shine our brightest nights. We need more people like you.
https://www.paolaknecht.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/pexels-pixabay-256807-scaled.jpg17042560paolahttps://www.paolaknecht.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/logo.pngpaola2021-04-28 15:51:032021-04-28 15:51:03The Subtle Art of Dealing with People
No puedo imaginarme, que en estos tiempos exista alguien que no aspire al comfort como estilo de vida.
¿Para qué nos esforzamos tanto en obtener tanta riqueza material, si no es para poder vivir con más comodidad?
¿Para qué inventar tantas industrias que producen cosas o proveen servicios, si no es porque queremos vivir una vida más fácil, con más lujos y excentricidades?
Creo que toda nuestra estructura social y mentalidad colectiva en el siglo XXI está enfundada en esta obsesión por el alcanzar los más altos grados de comfort, facilidad y accesibilidad 24/7.
No niego que es un privilegio vivir cómodamente y sin tener que preocuparme si voy a poder comer en las próximas horas o no; o dónde voy a vivir. Cosas fundamentales, que, tristemente aún para millones de personas siguen siendo esas mismas preguntas su cuestionamiento diario de supervivencia.
Así de loco está nuestro mundo; una sociedad en el occidente puede darse el lujo de pedir su comida online, dos “clicks” en su smartphone y minutos más tarde reciben su pizza caliente hecha de ingredientes orgánicos (o así lo quieren creer); mientras que en otra parte del planeta, en comunidades indígenas remotas, la gente aún tiene que viajar más de diez kilómetros a pie con sus cubetas de plástico rancio para abastecerse de un poco de agua medio potable del río más cercano.
Más allá de estas tristes distinciones entre los niveles de comodidad, hay una pregunta que acecha mi cabeza desde hace un rato y que hoy decidí bajarla al mundo “real” de las letras para buscarle un sentido:
¿Hasta qué punto el comfort termina siendo dañino para las personas?
Hace un tiempo, leí la única autobiografía escrita por Mathama Ghandi. Su libro se llama “La historia de mis experimentos con la verdad”. Su verdad.
Ghandi fue un hombre extraordinario que dedicó su vida a honrar a su patria de la forma más sublime que podemos aspirar en esta existencia humana. Su capacidad de compasión, amor, entrega y servicio; aunado con sus extraordinarias capacidades como abogado, activista político y líder por la paz; han dejado una huella que trasciende tiempos y generaciones.
Tal vez no muchas personas lo saben, pero Ghandi era una persona que vivía de forma muy austera por elección propia y además, era una persona que se imponía a sí mismo sus propias reglas y atacaba sus más estrictas disciplinas.
Sólo por mencionar algunas de las disciplinas a las que se sometía puedo nombrar las siguientes:
Ghandi comía sólo tres tipos de alimentos: Frutas, verduras y granos. La carne y productos derivados de origen animal eran estrictamente prohibidos. Por una parte, por su religión; y en segunda, por su propia convicción. Él consideraba completamente anti-humano tomar leche de vaca, comer carne de otro ser vivo o cualquiera de sus derivados. El hecho de que el hombre tenga el pensamiento de comer carne por satisfacción y no por necesidad, lo consideraba como tener una mente de consciencia inferior.
Entendió que el ser auto suficiente en todos los ámbitos lo acercaba más su vocación de servicio. Por ello, él mismo se confeccionaba su ropa, preparaba su comida, limpiaba sus zapatos, limpiaba su casa y hasta se cortaba él mismo el cabello.
Caminaba varios kilómetros al día y lo consideraba como una de sus tácticas para mantenerse sano y activo.
Practicó el celibato aún y estando casado por convicción propia.
Tomó la verdad como su absoluta forma de vivir; por lo que mentir para él era como negar la existencia de Dios.
Consideraba que el único poder legítimo radicaba en la capacidad de servir. Él enfocó su servicio a India y a la liberación de la nación de la dominación Británica por medio de un movimiento pacifico, sin incitar la violencia.
La lección que me dejó leer su autobiografía y descubrir su forma de pensar y actuar en búsqueda de la verdad y del verdadero servicio a Dios a través de sus actos, es que una persona con tanta capacidad de abandono de sí misma sólo puede desarrollarse si esa persona decide someterse a las más estrictas disciplinas.
Ghandi, y muchos otros líderes que han trascendido a lo largo de nuestra historia, se han vuelto inmortales porque pagaron el precio de renunciar al ego, sacrificando el comfort en sus vidas a cambio de austeridad, y disciplina absoluta, para de esta manera alcanzar metas más sublimes que van más allá de su propio beneficio personal.
No me extraña que, a estas alturas, ya no conozcamos líderes que sean capaces de cometer tales actos de amor.
Los líderes actuales, son considerados “líderes” por su capacidad de acumular riqueza e influencia. Ya no hay Ghandis a quienes admirar; ahora sólo están los Zuckenbergs, Bezos, y Gates del mundo, los cuales son admirados por no por sus bondades del alma, si no por su capacidad de generar riqueza y poder.
Ser un líder en estos días ya no se trata de querer sacrificar la comodidad – y mucho menos la vida- para el beneficio y las libertades de los demás; ahora se trata de acumular recursos y poder para desequilibrar a las poblaciones mundiales, y acrecentar la brecha de desigualdad. Todo por monopolizar productos y servicios para nuestra “comodidad” y “bienestar”.
¿Debemos estar agradecidos con ellos, por hacernos la vida más fácil?
No lo sé. Yo soy de la opinión que buscar la comodidad es un arma de dos filos.
Por una parte, creo profundamente que todos merecemos vivir de forma digna, con las herramientas y recursos necesarios para poder disfrutar plenamente de la vida. No se trata de tener que ser siempre mártires del mundo y vivir en escasez por el puro hecho de sufrir.
Pero creo también que hay límites, y que la comodidad puede meterte en un hoyo sin salida.
Por ejemplo, herramientas como el Facebook han ayudado a conectar a millones de personas; te ahorra el trabajo de escribir emails, cartas o de hablar por teléfono. Si alguien cumple años, ya no necesitas ni memorizar la fecha; Facebook te lo recuerda. Encima te propone qué tipo de felicitación puedes mandar. Eliges un “template” escribes feliz cumpleaños y listo. Ya cumpliste. Ahora puedes pasarte las siguientes dos horas revisando el resto del newsfeed.
Mientras más uses el servicio, más poder tiene Facebook. Más comfort para ti, pero menos poder. La atención, que es tu fuente de poder, se la regalas a Facebook de a gratis. Qué lindo, ¿No?
Si la vida se vuelve demasiado cómoda, ponemos en peligro nuestra capacidad creativa, y nuestros talentos en la resolución de problemas. Caemos en el riesgo de estancar nuestro crecimiento humano.
En un mundo donde la vida parece darnos demasiadas comodidades, creo que vale la pena preguntarnos: ¿Cómo revalorar el sacrificio auto-impuesto y la austeridad, como una herramienta para el crecimiento humano?
Yo creo que una sociedad que se ha vuelto floja, es una sociedad dependiente y que termina tomando rol de víctima. Una sociedad débil, que no es auto-suficiente por sí misma, por el valor de sus hombres si no que depende de sólo un par de individuos en el poder, puede hasta estar en peligro de colapso, en mi punto de vista.
No se trata de demonizar el progreso. Se trata de preguntarnos si este progreso nos está haciendo más sabios, más sanos mental y físicamente; más conscientes de nuestro mundo y sus realidades; mejores personas, con mayor capacidad de amar; si realmente estamos advocando por más unión, más belleza, más justicia y más verdad.
La persona que tiene la virtud de la austeridad y disciplina, conoce muy bien las profundidades de su ser. Conoce sus límites. Sabe quién es. No podemos conocernos a nosotros mismos, si no experimentamos con nuestros propios límites. y ¿Cómo hacerlo en un mundo que pretende servirte todo en bandeja de plata?
Mi reflexión y propuesta en este tema es: Retomemos la virtud de la austeridad y la disciplina en su justa medida. No sacrifiquemos nuestra naturaleza de crecimiento humano por tener más comodidad.
La comodidad en exceso nos hace flojos, conformistas y mediocres.
Busquemos lo superior. La única manera es adentrándote en tu ser, probando los límites de lo que crees que puedes llegar a ser. Autodisciplina; austeridad; humildad; y búsqueda de la verdad.
Yo espero, que busques una vida con menos comfort y con más desafíos.
¿Te atreves?
https://www.paolaknecht.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/img_0925-scaled.jpg19202560paolahttps://www.paolaknecht.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/logo.pngpaola2021-03-31 11:18:192021-03-31 11:18:19En Los Límites de la Comodidad…
