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¿Somos Realmente Libres?

La virtud más grande que se le ha otorgado a la humanidad, es el libre albedrío. La libertad de elegir un camino de vida el cual vaya de acuerdo a tus propios valores, creencias y pensamientos.

El libre albedrío es un tema que debatimos desde siempre; los filósofos de todas las épocas nos hablaban del determinismo, como una corriente ideológica que atribuye toda consecuencia a una causa; y por lo tanto todo lo que pasa en nuestra vida hoy es consecuencia de las acciones, pensamientos y comportamientos del pasado.

La verdadera cuestión es ¿Hasta qué punto el ser humano puede elegir libremente? ¿Cómo saber si la libertad de elección está restringida al momento de nacer, sin siquiera darnos cuenta de ello durante el transcurso de nuestras vidas?

Como una persona soberana, yo he asumido que soy libre porque he tomado mis propias decisiones en base a mi intuición y razonamiento. Pero aún así, creo que dentro de mi consciencia había algo que me limitaba- como un techo de cristal invisible- no sabía si impuesto por otros o por mí misma. Una prisión mental llena de creencias y visiones de vida basadas en el miedo a fracasar y el miedo a morir.

El techo de cristal nos impide saltar de la barrera donde la consciencia cómodamente se ha ajustado. Con tal de no salir de la molicie, tomamos decisiones «comodinas»- Trabajar en algo que no nos gusta pero nos hace ganar algo de dinero, suficiente para conservar el nivel comodín. Aceptar situaciones mediocres o evitar conflicto con tal de no esforzarse demasiado; estos son ejemplos clásicos con los que la gente común se conforma a vivir. Acostumbrarse a la siniestra rutina de trabajo; lamentándonos cada lunes y alegrándonos cada viernes, en un ciclo que parece nunca terminar; la dorada jubilación se ve cada vez más lejana; los gobiernos europeos están subiendo progresivamente la edad del retiro para alcanzar hasta los 67 años para el 2031.

Algunas personas siendo conscientes de ello, no se atreven a cambiar su realidad.¿Porqué decidimos quedarnos en nuestra situación cómoda, aunque no sea la ideal, y no explorar el verdadero libre albedrío? Hasta parece que muy pocos humanos son realmente capaces de hacerlo, ¿Diseño o manipulación? 

Conforme van pasando los años, me doy cuenta que no sólo no vivo en completa libertad, como era lo prometido, si no que todo el asunto se va asemejando más y más a una cárcel; claro, una cárcel disfrazada de “sociedad” o “bien común”, pero que a los únicos que beneficia son a los gobiernos, agencias y a los “demasiado grandes para fallar”, ya saben a quiénes me refiero.

Resulta que en un mundo en el que alguna vez pensé que las opciones eran ilimitadas, no lo son. Ir a la escuela no fue algo que yo deseaba, fue impuesto. Elegir una carrera y trabajar fue más una presión y manipulación social que un deseo innato. La carrera profesional ni siquiera se trata de realizarte en un oficio como resultado de una actividad humana que le da trascendencia al corazón, si no que se trata de aprender un currículum estandarizado para ser capaz de trabajar en las industrias dictadas como las “Económicamente viables”.

Hay pequeños lapsos en mi vida diaria, en donde contemplo la esencia de la libertad- cuando veo el cielo estrellado con cientos de miles de estrellas adornándolo en el firmamento. Cuando me maravillo ante el vasto y hermoso mar, lleno de fuerza y misterio; cuando veo la mirada de inocente de los niños, donde todavía vive la esencia de Dios. Cuando veo al glorioso sol cada mañana aparecer desde el horizonte- esos milagros diarios que hemos aprendido a ignorar, pero están ahí como testigos que la vida es mucho más que trabajar y comprar cosas.

No sé qué fuerzas nos encarcelaron en esta prisión mental de estudio-trabajo-consumo-morir en el que la mayoría de las sociedades actuales están metidas- lo que sí sé es que el elevar la consciencia hasta el punto de ver la prisión, me da un sentimiento de mucha esperanza. Si se puede ver la prisión, también se puede ver la salida- el mundo allá afuera- esperando nuestro regreso.

Pensar nos hace libres. El pensamiento es instrumento; la llave es la intuición y el acceso directo es CREER EN EL PLAN DIOS.

Are You Around Toxic People? Five Traits That Signal You Should Run Away

We all have been surrounded by toxic people at one point in our lives, sometimes without even noticing it. In order to live a peaceful and successful life, we should surround ourselves with the right people. In fact, this is common advice from most leaders and mentors I ‘ve ever encountered: “If you want to know who you are, look at the five closest people around you”.  Are you hanging around with people who share your same thoughts, values and contribute to your life in a positive way? Or do you just accept anybody that crosses into your path?

Toxic people have bad intentions. They might come across as friendly and nice on the outside, but on the inside, they struggle to feel happy for others, and really just care about themselves. Unfortunately, those people will always get in the way when you are trying to accomplish something positive in your life.

Toxic people can cause detrimental effects in our life if we do not learn to detect them and do something about it; there is enough evidence from research around the world that confirm that toxic relationships are harmful to your health; they increase the risk of metabolism disorders, chronic stress, heart diseases, cardiovascular issues and even depression. The influence of toxic people can be very subtle, so it is imperative to learn to detect those in your life and get away from them.

So, how can you be sure that someone around you is being a toxic person? Let’s take a look at the top traits:

1.     They are the victims

Everything negative that happens to you is because “you deserve it”, but if something happens to them is a tragedy. They are the “poor me”, in every situation. 

2.     They love gossip and scandal

Toxic people feed themselves with negative news and gossip. Those are the first to know when something bad happens to another person. They like to be surrounded by people not doing well in their lives and therefore will try to impede that you get better or are improving in your life.

3.     They are always right and never ask for forgiveness

They think that they are smarter than you, and everything they do is righteous and flawless. If something goes wrong is your fault, they are just the victims. These people do not feel any regret for causing damage to others because they think “they deserved it”. 

4.     They attack you the moment you share the good news with them

It might be something very subtle like saying to you “Yes sounds great, but…” The moment they say a “but” it means that they are contradicting you or pointing out that you are wrong or something might not go as expected. They like to impose fear on you to make you feel doubtful about your decision, that is why they are “experts” in seeing all the risks in everything you do.

5. They drain your energy

Have you experienced an energy drop, irritability, uneasiness or even got a headache after speaking with someone?

That would be a clear signal of very negative energy attacking your immune system. Believe it or not, negative energies, once they can connect with the other person’s energy, can cause debilitation of our immune system. Negative emotions suppress the function of our prefrontal cortex and activate the amygdala, the area of the brain that deals with the “fight or flight” protective mechanism. 

In short, if you notice that people close to you have three or more of the traits mentioned above, better run away. Sometimes this might be hard because oftentimes those people are our partners, our parents or even our own children. However, regardless of the personal relationship, there is no justification to tolerate toxic behaviours for the sake of their well-being, putting yours at risk.

Form a circle of people that do care about you. Who show respect and love for what you do. Humanity is a big family, whether we are connected by blood, by soul or both. Select carefully your herd and strive! 

¿Qué Es Lo Que Importa En La Vida?

Es una pregunta muy subjetiva. Seguramente, algunos responderán que lo más importante es la familia, los hijos, la salud, o hacer lo que amas. 

Para otros será el dinero, ser reconocida, llamar la atención o simplemente el poder y la fama.

Aunque no lo creas, todas esas motivaciones, aunque parezcan completamente distintas, tienen el mismo trasfondo:  Conectar.

Los humanos lo que realmente queremos, es conectar con otros seres humanos. Después de todo, Aristóteles dijo alguna vez que somos en nuestra más pura naturaleza, animales sociales. 

El sentirse desconectado de la sociedad y del mundo genera grandes trastornos psicológicos. Esto es un hecho probado por un gran número de médicos y científicos que han hecho estudios a miles de personas en las últimas décadas. 

Algunos de los síntomas que las personas experimentan cuando se sienten “desconectadas” son:

  • Estrés crónico
  • Insomio
  • Pobres relaciones interpersonales- impresión de conocer a mucha gente pero sin tener “amigos verdaderos”
  • Impulsividad
  • Ansiedad
  • Problemas para enfocarse en hacer una tarea a la vez
  • Inflamaciones crónicas
  • Problemas de sobrepeso
  • Narcisismo
  • Sentimiento de soledad

Seguramente has sufrido uno o más de estos síntomas y desafortunadamente, tener múltiples síntomas se ha vuelto la regla más que la excepción.

Nuestro ritmo moderno de vida, en donde todo se exige al minuto, en donde la paciencia no existe, y en donde puedes saciarte de básicamente todo a manos llenas: Comer de todo y a todas horas, enterarte de lo último que pasa en el mundo a tan sólo unos clics, entretenerte al instante con los últimos videos de Tik tok, ordenar ropa, comida o hasta pareja en una App… en fin, puedes hacer todo hoy en día con tan sólo un teléfono móvil en la mano, cuando antes necesitabas realmente interactuar con muchas personas para poder lograr todo lo anterior.

La tecnología es una maravilla cuando se usa a favor de avanzar como sociedad. Pero le hemos dado el uso inadecuado y hemos terminado siendo víctimas de la tecnología, y producto- esclavos de los que controlan esas tecnologías.

También nos hemos desconectado de la naturaleza, y de nuestra sabiduría innata. Nuestros cerebros a través de los tiempos han sido interceptados por intereses comerciales que moldean nuestras decisiones de consumo y de vida y esto pasa sin que la mayoría se dé siquiera cuenta de ello.

La desconexión con el mundo y con los demás es lo que nos impide sentirnos sanos, felices, completos y en paz.

¿Qué tenemos que hacer para volver a conectar? 

La respuesta más simple a la que pude llegar es esta: Volver a lo básico.

Buena alimentación:

Aprender de nuevo que lo que comemos tiene una influencia enorme en el estado de salud físico y psicológico de las personas. Si comes nutritivo y bien, te sientes bien y te sientes más motivado para interactuar con los demás. Si te sientes mal, lo último que quieres es interactuar con otros. Por eso, es importante mantener una dieta sana, libre de carbohidratos ultra-procesados, de comida con gluten, azúcares y cosas sintéticas.

Siempre apuesta por comida orgánica, proteína con grasas saludables como la carne, aceite de oliva, quesos (con excepción de los ultra-procesados o azules), nueces, huevos, aguacates y verduras. Limita el consumo de fructosa (e.g. jugos y frutas enteras con alto contenido de fructosa como los mangos, plátanos, etc.) una fruta entera al día siempre va perfecto.

Dormir bien:

Ser estricto con tu tiempo de dormir. Dormir al menos siete horas y evitar desvelarse sin sentido. La mente y tu cuerpo necesitan regenerarse y durante el tiempo de sueño es donde más se regenera. 

Confiar en la inteligencia innata de tu cuerpo:

Tu cuerpo es parte de la inteligencia de la creación.

Tu cuerpo sabe perfectamente lo que necesita. Se auto-regula y se auto-regenera. Muchos piensan que los médicos que “operan” o “medican” hacen algo “milagroso”. Pero nada más lejos de la verdad. Los medicamentos y los doctores son simples instrumentos que intervienen cuando es necesario para dictaminar el curso de la “posible cura” tratando de atacar los síntomas y no la enfermedad. Pero es el cuerpo el que se auto-regenera. El consumo de medicamentos puede incluso ser contraproducente si altera la capacidad auto-regenerativa del cuerpo.

Mi consejo es: menos medicamentos, mejor alimentación, más ejercicio y dormir mejor.

El contacto con la naturaleza siempre, siempre, siempre será una de las gratificaciones más grandes de esta vida y no es algo especial, es simplemente porque la inmensidad del mundo es nuestro hogar desde siempre, y no paredes grises y mini cubículos con computadoras.

Usar menos las redes sociales y buscar más la compañía real:

El título se lee solo. Tener mil amigos en Facebook nunca se va a comparar con tener un amigo verdadero que realmente te escuche y esté ahí para ti en las buenas y en las malas.

Un “like” del Instagram no te va convertir en super estrella ni en super héroe. Pero la sonrisa de un hijo, el abrazo sincero de una amiga, o una conversación profunda con alguien cercano seguramente te hará sentir tan pleno que ni siquiera vas a sentir la necesidad de llamar la atención.

Conectar es simplemente volver a vivir como fuimos diseñados para hacerlo: en la inmensidad de los bosques, selvas, mares, desiertos… libres, con alimentos provenientes directamente de la tierra o los animales… interactuando constantemente frente a frente y no enclaustrados en mini pantallas con imágenes ilusorias mientras nuestro cuerpo y alma se degradan. 

Conectar de nuevo, eso es lo que le da sentido a todo.

How to Keep Calm in Times of Chaos

If you watch the mainstream media regularly, you might think that the world is on the verge to collapse. The third world war is about to take place, inflation is skyrocketing, and social unrest is high in most of the world.

Most decent people believe that inherently their governments are good. This is especially true in places like Europe, where you get raised with a strong influence to obey your superiors and trust the authorities. Europeans from the West brag about having an independent strong middle class, with low inequality in terms of income. But behind the scenes, the real manipulation happens already during childhood time. Fascist states like Germany for example could put parents in jail if they do not send their children to public schools. You get finger-pointed if your kid is crying in a public restaurant, because, how dare he?

There are very few awakened people in the world. People who can see beyond what is presented to them on fake screens. People that like to think for themselves, to question and challenge the status quo. But those people pay a high price for being authentic. 

Societies today are very much hypocritical about almost any topic. Let’s pick one. These last few days, we have seen with quite some shock the huge manifestations in Iran of women against their religious rules (for example, wearing a hijab or showing more of their bodies publicly). From one day to the next, thousands of women organized to protest country-wide about their rights not to wear it and not to follow their religious beliefs in general.

Meanwhile, in Europe, there are hundreds of ads in different central spots in major European cities like Paris, Rome, Stockholm, etc. where the European Union openly supports the use of the hijab and even considers it as part of diversity and inclusion. This is a clear message: In Iran, you damage your culture the most if you go against religious beliefs and practices. In Europe, you damage your national heritage the most when you let all kinds of people come and impose their religious views and ways of living.  It is clear that those manifestations are paid for and organized to reach social unrest.

Now you might ask, how would knowing this give me any peace?

I totally feel you. To stay calm and maintain a peaceful state of mind despite the many atrocities happening in the world today, is not an easy task. This might be one of those pieces of history in our civilization where we have been so distressed that it qualifies as a turning point in our times.

  But even if it seems impossible, even if you might feel anxious and depressed about the future, there are ways to keep your peaceful state of mind. I can share with you a couple of tricks to gain back your peaceful mental state that has helped me and I hope they can help you too:

·      Turn off the TV and social media channels for a while

If you are one of those who as soon as they wake up are already with your fingertips reaching that news app on your iPhone or going first thing in the morning to turn on the morning news channel, then my friend, you have to give up that habit.

If you do this for two days in a row, you will realize that most of the negativity about the state of the world is coming precisely from the news channels. We believe that watching the news keeps us informed about the world, but this is naïve thinking. Major media news are being paid to bring specific storylines which benefit the ones that pay for them to get streamed. 

Look at who sponsors your favourite TV channels and social media apps and I tell you who is dictating to you what you should believe as the truth.

·      Make exercise outdoors regularly

Doing sports outdoors is an antidepressant by excellence. Even if you just go for a 20 minute walk a day already puts you in a calmer mental state and makes you feel much better than laying around on the sofa or sitting at your desk.

·      Eat a high- good quality fat diet. Reduce carbs

We have the wrong conception of high-fat diets.  For many decades, doctors, nutritionists and society, in general, have demonized the consumption of foods with high cholesterol profiles like eggs, cheese, meat, olive oils and nuts. The food industry profits more making you believe that a diet mainly based on cereals is more nutritious and gives you more energy. 

            But this is entirely wrong. It has been proven by many doctors around the world, one of the most prominent being Dr. David Perlmutter, that one of the leading causes of neurodegenerative diseases, obesity and anxiety are mainly dietary. That means, what we are eating has much more impact on our health and our brain than we think. He found out after extensive research that numerous neurological afflictions are related to too much consumption of carbs and too few healthy fats. Fat has always been a fundamental pillar of our diets even from ancestral times. Try it out: Restrain your cereals and sugar consumption and increase your consumption of eggs, meat, fish, nuts, coconut and olive oil. You will gain more energy, feel better, sleep better and get a sharper memory. If you want to know more about this topic, I recommend you to get Dr. Perlmutter’s book Grain Brain.

·      Keep focused on your own goals

In a world filled with terror, wars, crisis and instability, it is difficult not to feel depressed and frustrated about it. We feel incompetent and so small, and unable to solve the imminent third world war, the pandemics, the gas crisis and climate change, and whatever else new crisis gets announced on the TV. 

It is true, we cannot change what the media, politicians and big industries want to impose on us. But we can do something about our own lives. We have the power of choice and free will. You can choose to ignore the media. You can choose to focus on your goals, despite the negative outlooks. You can choose to do everything you can to keep this world as a still livable place to be as we can. A place you would feel proud to leave to your children.

By ignoring the media and making your own conscious choices, you will realize that the world is not as bad as you think. You can still achieve your goals, realize your dreams and meet great people. We do not have to be politicized and divided. We can also act as a united community, striving to make our best, to the best of our capabilities, in this beautiful world.

The bigger spheres of “Power” might be led by lunatics and psychopaths, but we could take away that power from them: By ignoring them, and by developing our own thinking. Be the architect of your life and do not let them do that for you.

Believe me, once you take full ownership of your thoughts and actions, you will gain peace of mind as you had never before.

In a World Built by Lies, Have the Courage to Speak your Truth

Language is possibly one of the most powerful tools for survival in our human nature. It is only possible through language to live in communities, form entire civilizations and transcend the animal kingdom by being able to convert an idea into matter through the explicit use of our spoken language.

 We create our own world but we rarely think about the mechanisms about how precisely we are building that world for ourselves. How can we shape our own life?

The answer that came to my mind is simple: through language.

But language is so powerful, so magnificent that it can create wonderful things as much as it can completely destroy them.

By the use of language, you are crafting your life… word by word.

So, what happens when you use your language to distort reality? 

We know that we can say anything we want, and we shape our own reality by doing so.  That’s why lying is even considered something regular people do most of the time.

Everybody tells a lie, here and there right? It can be a white, non-offensive lie, or a big one; so big a grotesque nobody even can believe it is actually a lie.

As Joseph Goebbels, the sinister politician in the Nazi era used to say: “If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it”.

Big lies can become collective realities, if the critical mass of people believes them and regard them as true.  A collective lie which is seen as reality can define the destiny of entire nations and the world at large.

Lies can be powerful allies when you want to hide from someone or something. Telling lies is a defence mechanism to avoid facing and dealing with the truth… with the pure and naked reality.

In that sense, it is logical to think that the more you lie, in order to get certain things in life (maybe power, money, recognition, acceptance… whatever it is) the farthest away you are from really knowing who you are.

You are lost in a thousand-mirror puzzle. One little lie has to be covered by a bigger lie, and the bigger lie by another very very big lie and if you are not clever and keep track of all the lies you will start to contradict yourself; you will lose the sense of reality. You will be disoriented and out of touch. Probably you need to invent a new lie to get out of that embarrassing situation- but it will be a weak foundation and will collapse again once you have to cover up the new lies associated.

What a strange world. Why do we ever have to rely on lies to live our lives?

Lying builds sand castles in unstable clouds, but telling the truth really keeps you firm on the ground.

Real and deep human interaction that is constructive only comes from a place of trust. And to be able to be trusted, you need to tell the truth. Here’s how you can start practising getting your true voice out:

·      When you talk, pay attention to your inner emotions. Do you feel nervous, or inadequate or does your voice sound weak? If that’s the case, you are talking from a place of fear, which is fertile ground for lying

·      Start to consciously recognize your own lies; every time that you caught yourself saying one, write it down and keep a log; are you capable of doing such exercise?

·      When you are caught saying a lie- ask yourself: what will be my expected benefit for having said that lie? What could be the consequence if I ever got caught? What result has more impact on my life and why?

·      If you want to discover who you really are, ask yourself: am I willing to pay the price of knowing who I really am? Even if that means being exposed to my own truth, my authentic thoughts and desires? Am I willing to defend myself by always striving to tell the truth?

People demand constant communication to keep their minds organized. Therefore, by communicating with the language of truth to others, you are not only helping your own mind come to terms with your true self but also, you are helping others to do so as well. Because as much as lies are contagious, truth is even more. People realise the spark in the eyes, the passion that emanates from the eloquent heart. 

The Benefits of Self-Authoring

I write a journal with personal reflections since I’m 7.

Life was never easy, but to have a space where I could reflect and write about my whereabouts and my feelings certainly made things clearer to me.

Some people call it journaling, writing in a diary, that kind of stuff. Although self-authoring is quite different, in my opinion. When you have a journal, you can just write observations about everything- about yourself but also everything that surrounds you. Could be stories, reflections, experiences and the like. With self-authoring, you are going a step further. You open up to think -and- write- about who you think you are: You go to the depths of your being, as uncomfortable as it is. 

You are able to rip yourself layer by layer like an onion. With every depth you reach, the pain comes closer and closer. Most people give up by the second or third layer. We like to see ourselves as inherently good people and all we believe must be the truth. But is it really?

When a close friend reaches success and is doing fantastic and you feel jealous about it, what do you do with that jealousy? Do you confront it straight into the eyes, or do you hide it below the carpet, and pretend you feel happy for his or her success when deep inside you feel quite miserable?

The madness of this world is not easy to digest, because we don’t like to see the part we play in it. If we suffer a social crisis if the world is “mad” is because of the wrongdoing of others but not because of my own actions, right? Well, we are as guilty as charged in contributing to that madness. How so? By our own virtual signalling, by pretending to be morally superior and suppressing our darkness.

Allan Watts once said “The reason you want to be better is the reason why you aren’t”- this has a profound meaning. I think this phrase alone describes the tragedy of our civilization.

What does it mean to become better? Better than what? Why would a flower, a deer or a wave in the ocean pretend to become “better” than the other? Who or what defines what is actually better?

Self-authoring, which means, writing, reflecting and looking at yourself in the mirror with all of its untold truths- is what has kept my sanity all these years. To be able to write who I think I am in a raw sense of things- not pretending I am good, or right or wrong. Simply observing, documenting, reflecting. Yes, I feel jealousy. I feel scared. I feel sorrow and I feel lost. On paper, I cannot hide it to myself. I have to confront the judge. So, you feel miserable. Why is that so?

Yes, you feel jealous and resented that your best friend is doing much “better”. Why is that so? Is it helpful? Is it meaningful?

Confronting our own demons, and our own miseries are our main task in this human existence. Then and only then, we will be able to really see the light. You cannot recognize light unless you come from the darkness. That’s a way  to come in peace with ourselves, with others and with our destiny. 

 I believe in becoming more human, not a better human, simply more human. To keep our feet on the ground, our hearts wide open and embrace everything that comes with our human experience. 

How to Tune Out Social Media and Tune Into What Gives Your Life Purpose 

No one can deny that we’re living in a digital world. Day by day, we’re spending more and more of our time staring at screens: checking updates on social media on our smartphones, checking emails from work on our laptops, and watching videos from famous influencers on our tablets.

Without realizing it, we’ve allowed an increasing number of people to influence our perception of reality. You’ve probably already heard in your social circles that “if you don’t post it, it didn’t happen.” What gets posted on social media becomes a “proof of truth” of your whereabouts.

But what happened to the good ol’ times when you used to hang out in secret with friends or your partner, enjoying the thrill of being “just the two of you”? Nowadays, it seems like we can’t live without social acknowledgment from hundreds of others as we post our secret gatherings on social media.

Letting others define who you are has devasting consequences

The power we’re giving away to social platforms—and to letting other people define who we are—has devastating consequences, especially to young people who are still finding themselves.

Just look at the alarming and increasing rates of people experiencing depression worldwide. It’s obvious that we need to flatten this curve and figure out what’s triggering our social media addictions. We need to learn how to disconnect from our online lives so that we can finally dedicate time to ourselves and explore what’s truly meaningful.

So, you might be wondering: “How can I log out from social media and tune into my own life?”

Based on years of self-introspection and observing what’s worked for clients in my coaching practice, here are the top three steps that will help you the most:

1.    Recognize that you have an addiction.

The first step is to become aware that excessive use of social media is an addiction, much like an addiction to drugs or alcohol, and it must be treated as such.

As with any other addiction, it’s helpful to ask for help in the beginning. Ask a friend or close relative to help you curb your use of smartphones and other electronic devices. Consider deleting social media apps so they don’t distract you from your home or work life.

The rewarding social stimuli that you get every time you receive a notification on your phone or tablet releases dopamine in your brain, which makes it feel like a pleasant reward. But the unlimited supply of notifications from apps like Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok sets you up to receive a big dopamine influx and, therefore, keeps reinforcing the behavior of checking your phone every time it sounds or vibrates.

A recent review by Harvard University clearly shows that this pattern creates dopamine-driven feedback loops, eventually turning us into addicts and down a path to increased depression, anxiety, and sleep difficulties. By recognizing your addiction, you can make this stop.

2.    Make a daily schedule for checking your phone—and stick to it.

I know this isn’t an easy suggestion. It requires willpower and discipline. But as with everything that can be addictive, you need to create a healthy balance that keeps you in control.

Plan specific times, or blocks of time, that you will dedicate to checking social media. Try to stick to this schedule as much as possible. If you don’t follow the schedule to the letter in the beginning, that’s OK, as long as you become consciously aware of it and make an effort to correct your behavior the next time.

With some discipline, you’ll enjoy the new freedom that comes from the practice of dominating your own time and schedule!

3.    Reconnect back to your craft.

There once was a time when life’s greatest gifts came from what you could do with your hands. There were no high-tech devices, no outsourcing services, and no one who performed jobs for you. People learned to craft what they needed for themselves. We harvested our own food. Cooked it. Designed and sewed our own clothes. We built our own homes. People used to take pride in what they could do with their bare hands. 

In modern times, we’ve lost our sense of craftsmanship and our love for what we could do with our hands, and we exchanged it for electronic devices and building an online persona.

Why not take time off from your screens and create more things with your hands? You’ll be surprised by how rewarding this is. Take pride in your ability to create and design something by yourself. Whether it’s a table, a house, a painting, or a book, craftmanship is the highest expression of human creativity.

Try it out. Tune out your social media devices and tune into real life. Meet real people in real time, make something with your hands, and fully enjoy these off-screen moments. In them, happiness is guaranteed.

*****

PAOLA KNECHT es una coach certificada en liderazgo, transformación y desarrollo personal,  autora de The Success Mindset: Take Back the Leadership of Your Mind y Un Mundo de Ilusiones. Puedes obtener más información en my-mindpower.com.

How To Keep Going When Motivation Is Not Around The Corner

Everybody has experienced those days: You wake up and feel low. You don´t understand why; just the night before, you were planning your next day and looking forward to it with anticipation. But then it came a bad night. Maybe you couldn´t sleep as good as you wanted; or simply woke up the next morning and felt down and unmotivated. You walk towards the window and you see its raining outside, big grey clouds dominating the sky.

You are supposed to keep working on that important piece of work; on that project. For us writers, you know what it is…. Write! But the feeling is universal. 

So, you go to the kitchen and have breakfast. Check the news. Check the social media… suddenly you end up in Tik Tok watching all kind of nonsense. Two hours passed by… WTF? Now it’s time to get serious and go back to work. How can we drag ourselves to sit in the chair and actually commit to work?

Maybe you were planning to hit the gym early morning, or go for a jog around the corner. All those great plans seem quite far away from how you feel now. You start seeing the image of yourself actually hitting the gym more distant and your imagery starts to get more vivid on the thoughts of turning on the TV, watch Netflix and eat nachos. 

Yes, I have been there. Many times. More than I would like to admit. 

But I also know that if I follow the second plan (TV with Nachos) it will make me feel much worse later in the day. I call it “The hangover of procrastination”.

The feeling of unsatisfaction for not doing what we were supposed to do is as bad as the hangover feeling after drinking 8 shots of cheap tequila. It is unbearable. But we are smart people, so we have found mechanisms to go around the hangover of procrastination… with…more of it.

Typical example: You promise to yourself the night before that you will go jogging tomorrow morning. Then you wake up the next day and it’s raining outside. Then you say to yourself: “Oh no, it’s raining. I cannot go jogging because I will get wet and then I will get sick. Better tomorrow if the sun is shining”. And if tomorrow rains again? You know what will happen next.

The same with going back to work on your project. In a good “sunny day”, when you are in good mood, well rested, and well fed, then you are eager to work on it and even strive at it. But what happens in a grey day, when nothing seems to have a meaning?

I think that what differentiate the ordinary people from the extraordinary one, is precisely  those people who show up with their responsibilities, no matter what; in the rain, in the snow, in sunny and grey days. Is the person that develops within him or herself the strength to overcome their feelings, pains and other obstacles and keep showing up every day.

So, to the question of what to do to keep going when you lack motivation, the answer is simple:

Do whatever you were planning to do. Show up. And do a double effort to strive, despite your down feeling.

You will realize that while doing it, the feeling of uneasiness and low energy disappears. You don’t give it any importance anymore, so you start to focus all your energy in the task at hand. 

Believe me, it works wonders.

If I feel like not wanting to write, I just go and sit and write. And as I start writing and I let myself go on the act, I lose the sense of time. My body and mind are focused on the task so I have no time to think that I am unmotivated. This is how you get to finish any work that is of value. Working constantly, diligently, daily, with no big interruptions. 

If everybody would just work when the time is right, the sun is shining and we feel at our top capacity, then probably we would still be living in caves hunting rabbits and making fire with two small wood sticks. 

The key is the following: The more unmotivated you feel, the more you have to go and do it.

Like David Goggins rightly says in his book “Can´t Hurt Me”: “The reason it’s important to push hardest when you want to quit the most is because it helps you callous your mind. It’s the same reason why you have to do your best work when you are the least motivated”.

So, if you were waiting for some divine sign that gives you the immediate motivation burst, then take this: Go back to work!

How To Deal With Writer’s Block?

One of the scariest things about writing is when you sit in front of a blank page and you feel paralyzed. What am I supposed to write?

I stare at the blank page in front of my screen for a while. Isn’t it ironic, that when I am doing other things, like cleaning, cooking, or working in another thing, I get hundreds of ideas in my mind about what to write, but when it comes to the time to actually sit and write them, all those great ideas vanish away and leave me empty and hopeless?

I bet you have been in a similar situation. It’s frustrating, isn´t it? Seems like to experience this situation is a perpetual life sentence for a writer.

However, not everything is lost! Overtime, I have learnt to trick my blocked mind and actually get my writing done. 

Here are a few things that have helped me a lot. I hope they can help you too!

1.     Start to write a journal

When I need new ideas, or I don´t know how to continue in the middle of a writing project, I use the old method of the diary. I basically start to write everything that happened to me during the day. I sometimes even start by writing something like: “Dear, journal, I have no clue what I want to write”. It seems like after I wrote those words, they left my mind, so I get “free space” for new ideas to emerge and they manifest in my diary. Then I just keep writing until I feel better. Guaranteed, something of what you wrote will be the seed of the new idea you just needed to keep going with your writing project or to start a new one.

2.     Record your ideas the moment they come

If you are washing the dishes and suddenly a brilliant idea comes to you, go get your mobile and get it recorded! Try the voice memo app and get all your ideas recorded when they come to you! Later you can use a speech to text app to get them transcribed. In the beginning, I was reluctant to implement this idea. I preferred the old-fashioned way: A proper writer has to always write, right? So I was carrying a piece of paper and a pen “just in case” something comes up and I can write it. In a perfect world that would work, but not when you are a mama of two small kids and you need to clean a table surface full of spaghetti sauce with one hand while doing acrobatic movements to feed your little one, which refuses to eat, with the other. In a matter of seconds, I can go grab my phone, push a button and start talking.

3.     Just sit and observe. Then write what you observe

Sounds maybe a bit stupid, but it works. Just sit in front of the computer and if nothing comes, just start writing what you see. Maybe you have a nice painting in the front wall with a beautiful landscape; or if you look outside the window, you can see your neighbor taking out the trash, or going for a walk with the dog. Observe everything you see and start writing about it. Believe it or not, this practice has given me a lot of ideas in my writing process! At least, it helps you get rid of the “freeze” and you start to get more relaxed while writing. Your Muse likes to come and assist you precisely in those moments when you are more relaxed and at ease. This is the best time for her (or him) to whisper to your ear what he or she wishes to see!

4.     Take long walks in silence

This is one of my favorite tactics. If I just cannot get anything out of my head to write one single sentence, I leave it. I take a break and go for a walk outside. I love to walk in the forest or in a place where there is plenty of nature, if possible. Just to contemplate the beautiful oak trees, the shiny little buttercup flowers that emerge from the ground in spring time; the amazing shapes that the different sizes of the tree branches leave in the sky when you look upwards towards the light… for sure something you observe or experience in your walks will give you an inspiration to write about. Do not forget to take a voice memo device or a little notebook and pen with you!

5.     Take a nap

This is an old-known tactic, especially for artists, or people with highly intellectual jobs. Einstein, Edison and Newton were regular practitioners of this simple but highly efficient act. If you feel like you cannot spend a second more in front of the computer, or at the job at hand, just leave it for a moment and take a nap. A power nap of 20 minutes would be sufficient. Then you give time to your subconscious to keep working on the idea, while your conscious is asleep. If something makes “click” you will dream about it, or at last, when you wake up refreshed and ready, it will flow through you while you write. If it helped the greatest minds of the world, why wouldn’t it help you? It has certainly helped me. Try it out!

There are obviously many more things you can do to overcome the writer’s block, but those five I just shared with you are the most powerful ones I know.  If you have more tips and tricks, please do share them with me in the comment section below! I would love to hear about your ideas 🙂

In the meantime, happy writing!

On The Road To Transformation

Many people believe transformation means chaos and uncertainty, but actually, the real transformation comes from a source of stillness.

On my usual jogging trail in my beloved forest, I couldn’t stop admiring the wonderful stream of autumn colors- the colors of transformation: The once summer bright green dominating the trees scenery being transformed into different shadows of yellow, orange and reddish… it happened so subtle but at the same time with such as speed that I wonder how could it transform itself so quietly before anyone ever noticing of it.

It made me reflect in our own transformational journey. Every day we have the opportunity to transform ourselves. Every fresh morning we have at our disposition a full day with unlimited opportunities. What do you decide to do on a certain day? Do you go on with your day with a planned agenda, dictating every hour of your life, or do you leave some room for silence and observation, for bringing some awareness of what is really happening on the now? 

We often say that change is the only constant in life, but, are we aware of what is changing? How does change affects you on the way you think, act and feel? Are you aware of the forces driving the change? 

Only by sitting back and observe is when we are really able to get awareness of the mechanisms of transformation. In autumn also starts the daylight transition in preparation for the winter: The days start to get shorter, the nights longer. The sun starts delaying its appearance and shines subtler, humbler. The trees start to experience the fall of leaves. Our bodies feel the need for more rest and less frenetic activity. Everything in the environment is calling us for slowing down and make time for reflection.

In our attempt to fill out our days with frenzy activity, we tend to ignore the signals from our environment. We keep waking up at the same time, we strive to do all our deeds with the same energy and determination. We push our bodies and our minds to keep striving, to keep going, and we miss the opportunity to sit back in stillness to steer our own transformation.

Today, I set you a challenge for change: what if you turn off the alarm clock and just wake up together with the sun at least once a week? what if instead of staying up so late watching a movie or looking at your mobile as usual, you go to sleep as soon as the moonlight is starting to appear in the horizon?  What if instead of filling your days with endless to-do lists, we let ourselves one day of quietness and enjoy fresh smell of zimt, pumpkin and wood?

I wonder what would happen, if we tune back to the peace of transformation that our beloved environment displays to us in such a wonderful and wise manner. Maybe we will shed light on our own transformation in so many new ways!